Let Me In
by Lapidus
Summary: Since Starkiller Base, Kylo Ren had been speaking to her in the back of her head. She can feel his rage, his irritation, and his frustrations. Rey can't help but feel like he's trying to tell her something important, but she doesn't want to give him the satisfaction by answering him. Why was he so persistent? (Force Bonded)
1. The Itch

**This is a direct copy-paste from my sideblog on Tumblr reylo-yeslo. Please enjoy!**

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Shortly after her arrival she heard him for the first time. He was a soft whisper at first, making her believe she was either insane or he'd done something to her.

He's an itch in the back of her brain that she can't scratch. His constant presence distracts her training. Since his first whispers, she has been able to hear his thoughts and feel his pain as if they were her own and she absolutely couldn't stand it anymore.

Rey's training with Luke began months ago when she found him on his uncharted planet. Although she worked hard through the months with the stubborn old Jedi, she still struggled with the blight of her mind.

Luke noticed a familiar dark presence within her early into their training and taught her how to suppress Kylo Ren's voice, but the more and more she tries to push him out, he comes back stronger; as if he knew she was trying to push him out. She was soon exhausted with the constant barricade patrol.

Her master deduced that somehow a connection between Kylo Ren's mind and her mind formed. The only explanation he had for this strange occurrence was a slow, apologetic shake of the head. He had heard his old master speak in his mind, but explained that his master was dead yet part of the force that surrounded them. Kylo Ren was a different story.

Luke warned her to avoid any communication with him for her own safety. He feared that conversing with him could pull her toward the darkness while she was still untrained, a mistake his father made years before.

She just can't be rid of him. He once tried to call out to her whispering as if through gritted teeth, ' _I know you're here, girl.'_ Later on he tried to actually speak to the silence on the other side. She contemplated on wether or not answering him was wise or not given the orders of her master. Was the risk worth it? She could learn about this strange connection. Her mind became a more cluttered mess now that her curiosity was gnawing at her, and she knew he could feel it.

A few months after her arrival, he acknowledged her again but this time he spoke as she drifted off to sleep. ' _I know who you are Rey. You still don't know, do you?'_ His voice was a clear whisper that sent chills down her spine. She pushed at him and he shoved back. _'Your bloodline explains your natural talent with the force. I know you're still wake and I know that soon you'll have to answer me,'_ Rey scowled and pushed again in vain. _'I want to talk peacefully,'_ She didn't push again. She sat up and brought her knees up under her chin and thought about his words.

He sounded sincere, and that was what bothered Rey. He was a cold blooded murderer who'd do whatever it took to get what he wanted, lying included. She didn't know what to make of these softly spoken words.

The Her heart raced with anticipation and nerves. She didn't notice her hands were clenched and her whole body was stiff.

She closed her eyes and took a long, slow breath to loosen up. _Here goes nothing._ She opened the mental door a crack, _'what do you want?'_ She spat. She heard a low scoff-like chuckle; which only made her heart race faster and harder.

 _'So she finally speaks to me. I was wondering when you'd come-'_ she cut him off. _'I asked what do you want?'_ he was silent for a moment, possibly shocked. _'I have a peace offering you may like. I've learned a lot about you, but nothing past your arrival on Jakuu,'_ The door opened wider.

She was about to speak until he interrupted her. _'I dug a little deeper and found something quite interesting about you. Tell me, do you remember your parents?'_ She shook her head to no one and the door opened wider. _'No,'_ Rey frowned. _He researched me like some sort of animal_. Rey rolled her eyes. _'Well then this may interest you. However I must ask of something in return for this friendly gesture,'_

Rey sighed and rolled her shut eyes _of course he wants something..._ _'What, dare I ask, do you possibly want?'_ She crossed her fingers for something simple. _'Don't worry it is not that bad. All I want is to meet with you once. Just once. No fighting, no force, just talking face to face,'_ she didn't think she heard him right. She groaned and let herself flop onto the mat. The door began to close, to cut him off for the night.

 _'Don't groan at me, it's a small thing I ask for in exchange for the answers you've been desperately searching for,'_ Rey was stunned at this. She had no idea how much he could hear from her. In fact- how much of her can he hear? The door opened again in curiosity. She could just feel a smug smirk creep onto his face. _'That's all I ask of you.'_ he whispered.

 _'Fine. But I choose the location. When do we meet? I'm in the middle of something you know,'_ she sat up. _'Sounds reasonable, but it must be neutral territory lest we risk this peace,_ ' she rolled her eyes again. The thought of peace between them sounded insane, even more so when their last physical meeting was considered. Rey picked out possible areas for the meeting. She still couldn't believe she was going to do this. It could be a trap for all she knew.

After a short period of silence, Ren spoke up again _'Now that that is settled, we should meet in-' 'I still have training,'_ Ren sighed, frustrated. _He seems the type to be frustrated easily._ Rey smirked at this childish feature of the fearsome Kylo Ren and made sure he could feel every bit of her amusement. Unfortunately for her, he dismissed the feeling and continued _'Yes, of course you do. When will you complete your training?'_ Rey thought about it. She'd been on this planet for what seemed to be ages and Master Luke didn't seem to be convinced she was completely ready yet.

 _'No. Master Luke tells me I'm doing well, but doesn't seem to think I'm ready,'_ Ren scoffed, _'Fine, then we meet when you complete your training. Give me the time and location and I will be there,'_ his commanding voice spoke loudly in her head, rattling her brain as if he was making sure she wouldn't forget.

Rey sighed again, throwing her hands up to her invisible converser. 'Fine.' With that she lay on her mat again. He backed off a little but she could have sworn she heard a ' _Goodnight, Rey.'_ before falling asleep. The door was locked for the night.

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 **Edit (3/23/16) I did a lot of reformatting. I may come back to rewrite Ch.1.**

 **Have a nice day!**


	2. What Are We Really?

**First of all I'd like to apologize for my dumbassery. I didn't notice that the copy-paste was all fucked up and gave you guys, uh something that wasn't the story.**

 **Anyway, if you follow the story on my blog (reylo-yeslo) then you're gonna be a bit confused. This wasn't in the first posting of the story. The reason for this chapter suddenly showing up is because I didn't like the huge time jump from Ch.1 to Ch.2 (Also after chapter 2 I realized that there was no relationship development prior to some events in Ch.3+ chapters soooo yeah that was quite embarrassing on my part.). So now I'm gonna fix that with this chapter. THIS will be my actual Ch.2 and the old "Ch.2" will now be Ch.3.**

 **Also, please be aware that yes, there are now 6 chapters (as of 2/18/16) of this story on my tumblr, but I am posting them here after I edit and change some stuff. Also it gives me more time to write another chapter so you guys don't have to wait too long.**

 **Thank you for reading and enjoy!**

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She really should have never answered Ren. He was more persistent to talk to her now that she had and it's been rather distracting. Rey was surprised at Master Luke's obliviousness to her obvious signs of struggle. It was most apparent that she was having difficulty when she had to do force concentration training. Not too long ago, Rey was instructed to make a small hut with boulders and stones on the island using only the force. Everything was fine and well until Ren decided to make his appearance as she was placing one of the final blocks on the small structure and of course, the whole hut came down. That night, she sent whatever anger she contained toward him to only have him send back feelings of amusement. It was worse that she could imagine his smug smirk.

Rey still didn't know exactly what to do about her feelings. Master Luke had been rather strict with his stance on feelings. He wanted her to be calm and collected; to not give into the feelings that made her human. Anger and hate had no place in a Jedi's mind. Rey, however didn't know how much of her could be a Jedi.

She couldn't follow much of the Jedi code and she had only her morals and Ren's subliminal influence to blame for it. She hated to admit it, but he did have a point on certain cases. She couldn't be so black and white about life. She couldn't see death as "only the force". She also didn't like the weighty rules and regulations Jedi followed. She'd just gotten her freedom, she didn't want to let it go again for something she couldn't put her all into.

' _I feel your inner turmoil, Rey.'_ Ren sounded interested. It felt wrong to Rey. The tone of his mental voice was too smooth to be worried or annoyed. He sounded too intrigued in her conflictions. It was almost as if…

' _You've been feeding me this whole time.'_ She let him teach her this whole time and didn't notice. All this time she never considered him to be of any influence to her thinking, and yet, now that she has been thinking about the reasons for this confliction, she couldn't help but mentally slap herself.

' _I was wondering when you would catch on. I will admit, you've been difficult to persuade. It amazes me that you haven't succumb to the darkness yet.'_ Rey couldn't tell if he was mocking her or admiring her. Rey felt the anger bubble up within her. She was a fool for being so open to him in the first place.

' _You're angry. That's good.'_ his voice was as pleased as can be which made Rey's skin itch. She took deep breaths at this point, hoping to let the adrenaline from her anger subside.

' _Let your feelings surface. Holding them in won't do you any good, I'm afraid. You're only holding in your power, your true potential. I feel it, Rey. Your potential in the dark side is great and you can only be great. However, make no mistake that I am trying to unlock your true potential. I'm not your enemy here.'_

' _Because friends never deceive each other.'_ Rey spat. She felt Ren's pressure on her mind lessen at the word 'friend'. She wasn't surprised, he probably never had a friend in his life. He probably never even learned the definition of 'friend'. The very utterance of the word probably stumped him.

His silence eased her tension greatly and was quickly replaced with contentedness and relief.

However, she spoke much too soon.

' _Are we friends Rey?'_ Ren's tone was oddly strained but hopeful.

She pondered this for a moment. Since she answered him a month ago, they'd talked regularly. They have had good days and of course bad days in their common conscious. Their conversations ranged from the very-most superficial layer of their lives to the feelings and applications of the force. Once, they spoke of their childhoods. The first few minutes of the conversation went well until they each had reached their share of dark memories resurfacing. They shared their pain and hardships with each other with a single thought. Rey felt as though they reached a whole new level of their odd relationship, but didn't know if Ren felt the same way.

This interaction, however, was also her self proclaimed downfall. That was the moment she began to open up to him. She answered more often and shared more often to him. She allowed him to capitalize on her empathy and she didn't feel any less than a fool. She never trusted anyone too much in her life and now she remembered why. Being nice never got her anywhere in life and now she was paying the price for her ill-placed kindness.

The things he shared with her seemed so personal, you would certainly have to be close friends to share them. To her surprise, he talked about the short time he spent living with his mother and father. He even admitted that she was a great mother to him until she sent him away. Rey wanted to tell him that General Organa loved him dearly and that Rey knew that General Organa hated to see him go, but decided against it. He wouldn't believe her anyway. Rey felt the painful betrayal in him as Ren told her about the day he was sent away. She felt the confused hate rile up whenever Ren mentioned his father. She couldn't help but empathise with him. As much as she disagreed with him on so many things, she too had felt betrayal and hate toward the people who left her on Jakku. It seemed that anger toward others and the feeling of betrayal were the two things they had the most in common in.

But his question still stood. Were they friends? The way they spoke to each other, you'd never strike them as mortal enemies. But to go as far as friends? That may be stretching it a little far.

' _I don't know, are we?'_ Rey asked with genuine confusion. Rey felt something within him drop as if it were the very boulder she dropped on her incomplete hut. She wanted to ask why the word 'friend' struck him so hard, but decided against it for she felt that her question would go as unanswered as the first.

He never answered nor spoke again that day.

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Ren sat at his desk, his hands cradling his head. He didn't know how long he could take it.

He still couldn't believe the ease in their conversations recently. It reminded him of his simpler, more ignorant times. Times he wanted not to relive as much as he wanted to relive them.

The more he talked to her, the more he'd crave the warmth that invaded his mind every time she chuckled, giggled, or laughed at something he'd said or at a memory she recalled. He felt the light resonate within her. He knew he should stay away as he feared the call to the light, but he couldn't help but enjoy the rush at skirting the light's pull. Talking to her was more than a conversation, it was feeling her power and emotions. It was something he'd never felt before.

Their situation has given him far more strength and power than he had ever achieved before it. It was exhilarating, it was powerful, but most of all it was fulfilling. Her presence made him feel the one thing he'd never felt before: whole. The wholeness of having another person close by, something he'd been deprived of since he was sent to Luke Skywalker's school. With her in his head, he discovered that he can utilize her anger and fear into raw power.

In fact, this is what he craved most from their bond originally. At first, he wanted nothing more than the energy she produced to fuel his power. But with the option of communication, he couldn't resist. He still wanted to bring her toward the dark and make her his padawan and this seemed to be his only means of doing so. But Ren didn't expect what was to come in these short months.

He had learned so much about her and had come to respect and admire her qualities. He admired her strength and persistence the most. She told him of the first salvage she collected big on. It was an X-wing by the name of Yellow-4. Her joy at the mention of not going hungry for a month panged his chest with guilt that she thankfully didn't pick up on. It didn't help his guilt that she told him of the time that a sandstorm forced her to stay indoors for several days, leaving her starving through most of it.

But he couldn't let his guilt eat him up. He needed to stay strong, for he was going to meet with his master eventually and complete his training. Snoke originally wanted Ren to complete his training right after Starkiller, but something out of Ren's knowledge changed Snoke's mind. Instead he was being sent on petty missions and training like a child. Snoke spoke to him in his head occasionally, just as he did when Ren was a child. However, instead of whispering comforts and promises of power, Snoke was set on refueling Ren's rage. Ren knew that he was being sent around to perform petty tasks was Snoke's kinder ways to frustrate Ren. But he also couldn't help but feel as if this long period of "regrouping" as Hux put it, was also his punishment for his weakness on Starkiller.

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 **I'm so sorry I took so long with this chapter! If you follow me on my tumblr, you probably know that I've been involved in some Tumblr drama lately that involved a really confusing argument with an anti-reylo, lies being spread (didn't work out too well for the poster), "sub tweeting" (a crybaby post that they didn't want me involved in so they didn't bother to tag me in but continued to complain about me being a cry baby), mindless hate, and accusations being thrown at me. I even joined the list of reylo shippers to block. Thankfully, I had some really great people backing me up through all of this!**

 **Everything is great now and hopefully another incident does not occur.**

 **Remember kids, hating on someone and policing people is wrong. Everyone is different, everyone has opinions, just let them be. Sending hate is not an option, do NOT stoop to their level. Be the bigger person and let the bullies talk to the hand. Their petty hate aint worth shit. You're a great person and never let that greatness fade. I hope you have a wonderful day!**


	3. Oceans

**So I decided to completely revamp this fic from my tumblr. Chapters will change and there will be more chapters added. I expected something like this when I decided to reupload the fic onto this site.**

 **Please bear with me, these next few months are going to be my busiest months. I will try my best to update.**

 **Enjoy!**

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Ren's presence returned three days later after their last conversation. In those three days Rey felt his mixed emotions, but successfully pushed them aside in favor of a clearer mind. However, now that he was back, she felt her darker thoughts from three days ago resurface.

 _'You seem to be angry, Jedi,'_ he mocked. Rey took deep, slow breaths in an effort to calm herself. She said nothing. He wanted her to be angry. He wanted her to be vulnerable and easier to manipulate. But she was not going to let him win.

 _'We've already established that ignoring me won't solve anything. If you really want to become a Jedi, Rey, you need to face your fears and doubts,'_

This caught Rey off guard. Master Luke had told her these exact words. Ren, being a former student would know these words, but why was he, a dark side user, tutoring her on her Jedi training? _'Why are you telling me this?'_

 _'It's the truth. I learned this from your master,'_

 _'No, I mean, why bother telling me this? What's the point? To confuse me? To get me to trust you again?'_ Whatever his aim was, it was unclear, but Rey believed her guesses were close enough.

She could feel the vibrations of a chuckle laced within his expressed amusement. _'I just can't trick you, can't I? My, Rey, you've grown,'_

Rey scowled. _'You don't know me.'_ she spat. How dare he act like he knew her better than anyone else?

' _Then what was this past month? Lies and stories?'_ he scoffed. _'Like it or not, we know far too much about each other now and you cannot argue otherwise, Rey,'_ The confidence in his response hit her hard. _'Stop trying to deny that we've started something Rey. I'm done hiding behind wicked schemes to just start a conversation with you. I want you to let me in. Let us be civil instead of inconsistent,'_ Rey was stunned. This, she was not expecting. The sincerity she felt resonating off of him was warm, which was strange due to his usual coldness. Even his laughs, no matter how genuine, were chilled. This definitely was a new feeling that Rey did not mind, however. It was welcoming and enticing and different.

Coming back to the conversation, Rey asked, _'Why not just approach me like a normal person?'_

With the direction of most of their previous conversations, you would think that Ren was only speaking to her for his own gain. She was still suspicious of his intentions.

 _'I... don't know how to,'_ he sheepishly responded. After a pause, Rey burst out laughing, trying her best to suppress her laughter from her master's hearing range. Ren must have felt her fit because she definitely felt his embarrassment.

 _'I fail to see what's so funny about this,'_ Rey imagined Ren pouting like a child.

 _'I'm sorry, it's just… That's j-just so adorable!_ ' she sputtered, still cackling.

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They filled the rest of Rey's leisure time with pleasant small talk. Rey felt much different about Ren now. He was as much of a threat to her as the ocean of Ach-To, which was much better than her previous impression of him. He was still unpredictable, but she was much more willing to face him in her mind now than before, just like her own experience with the ocean. The ocean terrified her when she arrived on Ach-To. Its vastness, its deepness, its unpredictability terrified her to no end. The fact that the blue waves could turn on her at any moment was unsettling. When Master Luke first taught her to swim, he explained that she needed to stare her fear down and learn from it and adapt, rather than cower from it. Now, she was a novice swimmer, could hold her breath longer and keep her head above the waves. She no longer fears the treachery of the ocean. Now, Rey just needs to overcome her fear of this new "ocean".

"Rey I must speak to you right away," Luke ordered. Rey was curious at the urgency in Luke's voice.

"Master, is everything alright?" Rey cautiously asked, approaching her master. Luke began pacing.

"Yes. Well, no. No, Rey," he paused as if to consider his next words carefully. "You've been my student for quite some time now. I know you need to be ready in no more than a year, but what I've felt in the force recently… it's unsettling to say the least. Tell me truthfully, how are you feeling Rey?" his tone was concerned. Rey saw a hint of panic in his eyes. He was worried about the conflict surfacing within her, no doubt. He must have felt the recent dark feelings within her as well. Dark feeling stirred up by Kylo Ren.

She didn't want to lie to him, but telling him about Ren was not an option. "I've been having difficulty, master. Some of the ways of the Jedi… I don't know if I can follow with all of my being. I'm frustrated that I can't just accept the rules," she sighed, looking down in shame and guilt. Shame that she was hiding something huge from him. Guilt for making him worry that his new apprentice would turn out to be exactly like the last.

"Rey, you must follow all of the ways to become a Jedi. There is no in between. If you cannot accept the old ways, then I cannot train you as a Jedi," Luke wasn't angry or frustrated, but he did sound slightly disappointed. Rey feared her status as his apprentice. If he was going to kick her out, what was she to do then?

"But, these are dark days. Although I am disappointed, I cannot sway your feelings. You are the only hope this galaxy has. I will continue to train you in the path of the light until the agreed day," Luke finished, shaking his head. Rey sighed in relief and in sadness.

"I'm sorry master," Rey bowed her head toward him.

"Don't worry Rey, I'm not disappointed directly at you, I'm just disappointed that the line of Jedi may have to end with me," Luke sat and closed his eyes. "Do not dwell on it, I don't think any less of you, dear, just promise to follow the right path. I don't think I could take it if I failed another apprentice," Luke's voice cracked as he spoke. She wasn't going to let herself drown in the pestering darkness within her. She had to make sure of it now. Rey knelt in front of Luke and nodded.

"Don't worry master, I won't let you down," all comfort and reassurance possible was put into her response. Distressing her master was the last thing Rey wanted to do.

Luke turned his gaze to her and cracked a small smile. "And for whatever reason, I believe you," he pat Rey on the shoulder and stood. "I'm just glad you haven't completely abandoned the light," his smile was soon replaced with a soft frown. His eyes were filled with worry.

"Just be careful Rey. The path you follow, the path of a Gray Jedi, is no easy path. The temptations of the dark side will always be at your heels, your feelings may get in the way of a mission, and you will have to make difficult decisions. Be careful Rey," Luke warned. Rey nodded without speaking a word.

Now that she knew there was such a thing as an in between, she felt relieved. She had a place in the force to fit in and she was determined to learn everything she could about the Gray Jedi from Master Luke.

"Well, we best get to work while we still have daylight." Luke interrupted Rey from her thoughts.

"Yes sir."

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 **Alright we are moving a bit away from the original LMI so I can add more stuff to it. Sorry this is so short, it's been crazy trying to figure out exactly where I want this to go.**

 **Again, I'd like to thank everyone for taking the time to read my fic and being patient with me. I will try to get my shit together.**

 **edit 3/6/16: okay so DORK DOG pointed something out and I went to read it over again and yeah, I was not very clear with Luke's standing on Rey's decision to stray from the way of the Jedi. So Rey does not want to follow in Luke's footsteps. She doesn't think she'd be able to fully agree with the Jedi's ways. She still has anger and frustration (Most of which is Kylo Ren's. She feels these feelings because they share a conscious now.) and she can't restrict herself to the strict Jedi code.**

 **Also Luke doesn't want to kick Rey out, and he doesn't hate her either. He's going to keep teaching her the ways of a Jedi, but he knows that she cannot follow it after her training. I would think that if this situation did happen, Luke would accept this compromise instead of forcing her to choose either become a Jedi or leave. Can't have another apprentice get pissed off and turn to the Dark Side, right? (Especially since she is linked up with another Dark Side user)**

 **Thank you for pointing that out! I added some stuff to hopefully help out future readers!**

 **Have a wonderful day!**


	4. Last Day

**Yeah sorry about last chapter, but that's how writing works I guess. Edit what you want while you can and all that good stuff.**

 **Thank you for all of your support! And as always, enjoy!**

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Rey finished her last months on Ach-To strong. Her force abilities were much more solid than before, she could swim proficiently as well as hold her breath for long periods of time, and her skill with a lightsaber was exceptional. Luke was also confident that the light in her was much stronger than the dark and she would not easily succumb to it's pull. He told her that he saw only the goodness in her despite the negative feelings she suffered.

No matter how much she meditated, Rey could not remove the negative feelings that clouded her mind from time to time. She blamed Ren for it openly, but he defended himself, saying that it wasn't his fault, it was the bond. Their bond was a difficult challenge to the both of them. It was distracting and dangerous. As much as she hated to admit it, Ren was right. For a year they shared a mental space, they indirectly and directly shared thoughts and feelings, they were much too close for comfort.

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It was the night before Rey was to depart Ach-To. Luke thought it was a time to celebrate so they set out fish of different kinds along with several shellfish and greens. Once they finished dinner, they sat silently near the fire.

"Rey, it's time I tell you something," Luke sat across from her, adding more logs to the fire. Rey nodded and listened attentively, making sure not to miss a single detail her master uttered. "As you know, Kylo Ren was once my student. I was there when he willingly gave himself to the dark side. I watched him slaughter his fellow students alongside the Knights of Ren at such a young age. All of my students, except one was killed. One that had been missing all these years," he took a breath and looked her in the eye, obviously searching for a reaction of some sort. "I was unable to find her after Kylo Ren took her away. She was very young, around six or seven and had only one friend out of the rest of the students, who was then Ben Solo," he paused again.

Rey took a moment to process this information. It wasn't possible, was it? She couldn't remember what happened before she was left on Jakku, not even her only friend at that time. But thinking about Ren's behavior over the year, things were starting to make sense. The guilt he felt when she told him about her sufferings on Jakku made sense. The way he'd avoid the topic of Luke's Jedi academy made sense. Even her tolerance of him made sense. She felt Ren slither through her jumbled mind, probably trying to see what all the commotion was about. He was always too curious in her affairs.

She stood abruptly and stared her master down, "Why didn't you tell me this before?" she spoke through gritted teeth. Luke taught her to control the darkness within her and the importance of keeping it at bay. This was a test. She needed to stay calm to prove her control. "You were untrained. Your feelings, anger, frustration, confusion, it would have consumed you. You came to me already with traces of darkness within you and then I felt it grow, telling you any sooner wouldn't have been any better. This is not an easy thing to learn, trust me I know what it's like to learn about your roots," he sighed as he stared into the fire. Rey knew he was speaking of his father. "You've grown considerably over the year, and I believed it is time you know where you came from," his tone was even and calm, knowing that Rey would be able to manage her feelings. She was, but there was still struggle to keep her emotions in. Ren's emotions within her was making this much more difficult to control. Rey's breathing became staggered to match her racing heartbeat. She needed to calm down. Her training shouldn't allow her to let her emotions take over like this. She worked too damn hard for her to give in to one meltdown.

After a short time, she managed to take hold of herself slightly better than she had before. She shook her head, trying to shake her overwhelming confusion off. "Why did he spare me? Why did he bring me to that backwater hole in the ground?" The thought of a young and unstable Kylo Ren sparing her was laughable. Rey just couldn't believe it.

' _Rey? What's happening? Your mind is loud and cluttered, I can't understand you,'_ _Well speak of the devil._ she shoved at Ren's sudden intrusion in response.

"I'm sorry, Rey. I know it must be hard on you, but you must understand that this was for the best. The dark side would have seduced you just the same as Ben," she forgot her master was before her for a moment, due to all of her focus on the mental barricade.

She needed to know more. She slowly sat back down and slowly breathed in and out to slow her racing heart. "You didn't answer my questions Master," she spoke calmly, trying to hide the distress within her. "I'm sorry, those are questions I cannot answer myself," he looked her in the eye. Rey sighed and nodded as she directed her look of disappointment toward the fire. Another dead end right after a clearing.

"Ask him."

Her wide eyes snapped up to meet his calm smiling ones. _How did he…?_

' _How did he what?'_ Ren was back again, this time irritated.

Luke chuckled. "How did I know? Lucky guess, you might think. From the year that I've known you, Rey, you're not the kind of person to follow every order they're given. Your face tells me that I'm right. You've been communicating with him, haven't you?" Embarrassment flooded Rey's face and she avoided eye contact. "Yes. But not recently," "But he's there, isn't he?" Luke tapped his own temple. Rey nodded. "All the time. He never leaves, only backs off a little when he feels like it."

Luke nodded and stood. "What do you think of him?" Rey looked up at him and thought it over. She thought he was a horrible bastard who needed to be stopped. But when it came to him, the real Ben Solo, he was sad. He was nothing more than a lonely, pained child. She saw something in his mind that was familiar to her. The few times he spoke to her he was gentle and almost companionate. "He's conflicted, Master. He's… lost, and confused. He feels betrayed and alone," Luke nodded. "You'll soon see him again in combat my dear, but how you both handle the situation, I'm most certainly curious. I remember you both in your younger years. He'd get into trouble frequently and the one he always ran to once the scuffle was over was you," he began to pace semi circles around the fire, his real hand stroking his beard. "I think you're the key, Rey. He cannot destroy you. He wants to keep you for as long as he can. You-"

"-are his weakness," Rey finished for him. "Yes. But more importantly you are the key to his salvation. You're the only person that could possibly reason with him," Luke sighed and continued, "I do not hate him. I'm disappointed and devastated, yes, but I cannot hate him even after all he's done. My nephew is still in that monster, I know it. His inner conflict is his only chance," Luke paused and turned to Rey. "Please, my padawan, bring my nephew back," Rey nodded. "Yes Master." She wanted to bring him back. His mother wants to bring him back. And now, his former master and uncle, who he wronged in every way wanted him back. Because of the bond, Rey found the light in the monster and she began to question whether or not she could strike him down if it had to come to it. But now she had another option. Relief flooded her now that she knew that there was another way to end the First Order and bring back this man she'd unexpectedly come to care about.

"Thank you," Rey spotted the hope in her master's eyes and the sincere smile under his hood. Rey smiled, letting her anxieties and most of her other negative feelings flee. "I also suggest Tatooine for your meeting place," Rey's face shock flushed. Her master never ceased to amaze her.

"Goodnight Rey," Luke walked away from Rey and the fire slowly. "Goodnight Master Luke," she croaked. _But why Tatooine?_

' _Tatooine?'_ Ren questioned. She was now left to deal with her noise. She heard Ren shouting over her own thoughts, trying to gain her attention. With one breath her mind cleared of the thick cloud of interference. ' _Tomorrow I leave, go to Tatooine,'_ her voice was calm but straight. Her Jedi training has helped her immensely with her patience and anger management even if she were not following the path. She wanted to question him then and there, but she wanted him to explain this whole situation to her in person and see the sincerity as well as feel it.

She felt his confusion. ' _What happened? Are you hurt?'_ She scoffed at his concern. She was still angry at him for hiding all of this from her. She was going to get answers from him tomorrow.

Rey pushed at him but to her surprise, he didn't push back. He merely stayed away for the rest of the night.

Although relieved of his absence, Rey couldn't sleep well that night.

* * *

 **So things are happening. Yeah.**


	5. You're Late

**Alright, I did say March, April, and May were my busiest months so be ready for slower updates. I'd say maybe one chapter every 2 weeks or so, maybe less if I find time.**

 **I'd like to thank all of you who have favorited and follow my story! Thank you for all of your support! Thank you to all of the reviewers, your reviews are my fuel to keep writing!**

 **Anyways, please enjoy!**

* * *

Today was the big day, Rey should have been excited. Maybe if it weren't for the ghost from her past she would have been. Ren unexpectedly refrained from any contact with her on the day she was to leave Ach-To. In fact, he completely blocked her from his mind. For the first time her mind felt clear and… all her own. This was something he'd never done before and Rey desperately needed to learn this ability. She'd been able to push and shove at him in her head, but never has she been successful in completely shutting him out.

Rey sat atop a large boulder looking over the ocean, her favorite meditation spot. However instead of meditating, she was merely staring out and admiring the scenery. She didn't know when or even if she was coming back to Ach-To so she took in what she expected to be the last chance to enjoy the soothing crashes of the waves against the cliffside.

She came here scared of many things, failure, rejection, Kylo Ren, the war, and of course the ocean. Rey was amazed at her growth. She no longer had to fear rejection, Master Luke gladly took her on as his apprentice and even continued teaching her when she admitted that she couldn't follow the path of a Jedi. Kylo Ren was slowly becoming less and less of a threat as she learned more about him. The ocean wasn't as terrifying as it had been when she was first learning to swim. Even the war seemed less scary a year later.

The only thing she had to fear now was failure. She already felt like she failed Master Luke as she could not accept the path of a Jedi. There was still uncertainty being neither a Jedi nor a Sith, she could not give herself to the dark, but she could not commit to the light completely either. The combination of Kylo Ren's and her own bitter feelings made it impossible. Master Luke did his best to help her suppress the darkness that surfaced and Rey was thankful that he was helping her rather than turning her down; or striking her down. She couldn't take his kindness for granted. She needed to fight the darkness and side closer toward the light, but she couldn't reject the darkness completely as it was still a part of her.

Rey would never voice her thoughts on the darkness. She felt the power and freedom with the darkness and it terrified her. Because of Kylo Ren's subtle influence, she saw potential in harnessing the power of the dark side. The only things keeping the darkness from completely consuming her was her own strong tie to the light and her desire to do good rather than inflict pain onto others.

The Millennium Falcon came into sight and was quickly approaching. Knowing that it was finally time, Rey took one long and thoughtful breath, breathing in the saltwater's scent. She had dreams and nightmares of oceans. Back on Jakku she learned about the ocean from the traders and visitors from other systems. Oceans sounded so free and beautiful, but she was also told of their dangers. Some nights she would dream of the ocean and imagine herself splashing in the waves. However, there were nights where she'd have nightmares of the expansive waves; as the large body of water surrounded her, the waves sucked her down deep into the endless depths. But now, a year later, her curiosity was sated and her fears were gone. It was still dangerous, but now that she learned to keep her head over the waves on her own, she no longer had to fear it. It felt more comforting than her hopeful dreams.

Rey slid off the boulder with a tremulous smile and strode down the elevated area. Her nerves were causing her hands to be clammy and shaky.

"It's a pleasure to see you again Master Luke!" C3PO's robotic voice was loud and clear before Rey could see anyone. Shortly following 3PO's oddly excited voice was a not so threatening growl of a Wookiee and several high-pitched beeps.

"3PO, Artoo, Chewie, it's so good to see you my friends," Rey caught Luke's broad smile and couldn't help but match it. He was such a sad man and whatever happiness that came his way was definitely well-deserved. He rarely smiled, and when he did it was usually a melancholic smile.

Chewbacca's arms made its way around Luke, pulling him into a faceful of fur. Luke's laughter was drowned out by Chewie's little growls. Rey approached only to be pulled into the same bone crushing hug. "Nice to see you Chewie," Rey gasped out. Chewie let go and cooed, shaking his head around excitedly.

After all the pleasantries were over, C3PO, Artoo and Chewie all let the padawan and master be to say their goodbyes. "Rey, it was an honor to train you. I'm confident in your abilities and I know as scary as all of this may be, you'll push through it kid," Luke's broad smile returned for the second time that day and it almost made Rey tear up a little.

"Master Luke I- uhm, I-I- Thank you. Thank you for putting up with me and believing in me. I swear I won't let you down- I'll work hard and thanks to your guidance, I won't let the darkness within consume me. I know you've taught me so much in so little time without knowing much about me, but-" she didn't know exactly where she was going so she cut herself off with a nervous chuckle. Luke gave an understanding nod and laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Yes I do believe in you. I need to tell you one more thing before you go," Luke sighed and his face became serious. "I've never done this myself but, in the days of the old republic, when Jedi were still welcome, it was tradition for a Jedi master to bring their Padawan to Kyber crystal sources to create their own lightsaber. Kyber crystals are energy sources that make up the blade of the lightsaber. I must apologise, but I cannot bring you to forge your saber. Part of it is because of the path you are following. You are not a Jedi, and as a Jedi I cannot help you with it personally. I want you to take my lightsaber instead until you manage to find your Kyber crystal," Luke reached within his robe to unhook his lightsaber from his belt. Rey gave him a guiltily apologetic look. He was giving up his old lightsaber, an heirloom from his father, to her and she couldn't help but feel like she was robbing him.

"You don't have any reason to feel bad. I want to help you Rey, I was in a similar situation as you are now many, many years ago and I had help. I'm just sorry to say that getting help from force users is getting harder and harder to come by," giving her a reassuring smile and a shoulder tousle, Luke placed the lightsaber in Rey's hand, closing the tips of her fingers over the aged weapon. "You can't force or expect someone to change to fit your ideals, that was the mistake the Jedi of the old republic made- a mistake I myself have made. You have chosen your path and I can only hope you stay on the path you are on now, the path of good. You may not be a Jedi, but you will be as powerful as one someday,"

Rey smiled and nodded her head. "Thank you master," she wrapped her arms around Luke as if she were hugging the grandfather she never had. He'd supported her like no other and Rey knew that she was going to miss him dearly. "Are you sure you don't want to come with us? I know Leia misses you and I think having you around would help her tremendously."

Luke sighed in response. "Unfortunately, I have unfinished business here. However, you've opened my eyes Rey. All this time I've exiled myself as punishment and shame, I felt like I needed to stay here for everyone else's safety. After all, I let everyone down. Leia and Han lost their son and because of my blindness, the First Order has become an unbelievably massive threat to the galaxy, and of course I thought nobody wanted to see me again. In fact, I never knew anyone has been actively searching for me for so long and it was Leia of all people!" Luke chuffed and shook his head in disbelief.

"Maybe I'll come back- but that is not a promise. For now, give my sister this." Reaching into his robe again, Luke pulled out what seemed to be an outdated holoprojector. "Tell her I rigged it so that we could communicate via holoprojector. It's safer and it was all I had when I came here," his voice dropped slightly when he mentioned his arrival. He wasn't completely wrong when he said that this once one-record messenger was a safer means of communication. Since it was a holoprojector, no one would suspect it to be a communications device. What used to be on these old holoprojectors are long gone now, which was a saddening thought to Rey. Rey nodded and obediently took the holoprojectors, sliding them carefully into her side pouch.

With one last nod to Luke, Rey turned her heel toward the parked Falcon, thanking the stars that it wasn't at the bottom of the stairs this time.

"I have a feeling we'll meet again Rey," Luke called out as she walked. "I certainly hope so," Rey turned to call back.

"May the force be with you. Also, please go easy on him."

Rey's face turned red at the mention of the old Jedi's nephew. She'd almost forgot about him. He was still gone and her mind was still all her own as it was before the bond. As Rey settled into the pilot's chair, she thought about Ren again. She couldn't help but wonder what he was doing and why was he was hiding it from her. She informed him of her departure the night before and he cheekily responded with a "Can't wait", but now he was silent. Was he nervous as well? Or was he busy setting out a trap for her to fall into?

* * *

"We need to make a quick stop first. It's a quick mission from Master Luke," she wasn't lying entirely at least. But it didn't stop her from feeling slightly guilty about lying to her companions.

Chewie growled in approval and Rey began the takeoff procedures. She still couldn't believe she was doing this. It made her feel like a traitor. First she lied to Master Luke, disobeyed him, and then proceeded to fraternize with the enemy.

They arrived on Tatooine toward the end of its cycle. One sun had already partly disappeared beyond the horizon and the other was close behind.

"Tatooine?" C3PO exclaimed.

"Yes, I have business here. Why? What's on Tatooine?" Rey questioned. It was odd how C3PO could get excited despite being nothing but metal. His reactions were very… organic. Almost too organic.

"This is where I come from! My old master, Anakin Skywalker built me here! Oh, Tatooine has not changed, right Artoo?" Artoo beeped and chirped happily in response.

"Wait, Anakin Skywalker? THE Anakin Skywalker? As in Darth Vader?" Rey stared at the two droids for a long period of time before standing to ready for her meeting. She needed to head out as soon as possible before both suns disappeared.

Artoo let out a long deep beep of sorrow. "Ah, yes. That Anakin Skywalker," C3PO shuffled toward Rey as she strode down the ramp. Rey turned and gave the humanoid droid an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry," Rey wouldn't have ever dreamed of apologizing to a droid, who, should not act as organic as C3PO was. Most droids were monotoned and held no sympathy or any other feelings for that matter. C3PO, Artoo, and even BB-8 were special droids. They all have expressed several emotions such as anger, sadness, and joy and Rey just couldn't understand it. _Their programming must be intense._

"Oh, no. It's quite alright Mistress Rey," the sadness in his robotic voice was obvious.

* * *

"How was I talked into this again?" Rey muttered under her breath.

Rey knew where to land because she felt him. Ren had let the bond slip long enough for her to get a feel of his general location. Now, he let the barrier go completely and she followed his trail using the bond. She no longer felt so empty now that we was back, mostly. His connection to her was getting stronger and stronger as she walked on.

Finally, after twenty minutes of walking, the first sun was another quarter gone. The second son was just touching the horizon and Rey noticed the desert air cooling. As it got darker, the colder it got. _Just like Jakku…_ she mentally whispered to no one. Ren surprisingly did not answer and Rey had to rely on his feelings instead of his words.

She passed a large boulder, feeling all of his energy in the area.

"You're late."

* * *

 **Yes, cliffhanger! Sorry it wasn't so exciting, trust me, next chapter WILL BE EXCITING. Lots of stuff happening next chapter!**

 **Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day!**


	6. You're Late (Kylo Ren)

**ONE DAY UPDATE. Alright so this chapter is significantly shorter than the last chapter. I actually didn't plan on Kylo Ren's side of preparation (which is kinda dumb of me I know). But lovely reviewer: Bad Ass Female Fighter (I love your username btw) had a very brilliant idea and thus this chapter was born!**

 **I really appreciate all of your reviews. This review was great feedback and it help me determine what kind of content you guys wanna read! Thank you all for the favorites follows and reviews!**

* * *

Of all places in the galaxy, all of the different systems, the different planets and moons, she chose Tatooine. Ren knew very well that both his uncle and his grandfather had originated from Tatooine of the Tatoo system. It was strange that Rey would have any desire to go to Tatooine. It caught him off guard. How had she known of Tatooine in the first place?

"Unless…" Ren began to question Luke Skywalker's involvement. He'd been a fool to believe that the old Jedi would be blind to their bond. Throughout the year Ren believed the bond to be invisible to other force users. But now that Luke Skywalker proved it to be otherwise, he knew to be cautious around Supreme Leader Snoke. He needed to learn to suppress the bond. He was to meet with his master soon.

"Maybe I can practice now," he muttered under his breath. Since he became aware of the bond's abilities, he'd made it a habit to voice his thoughts rather than keep them within his-their head.

He shifted from his desk chair and onto the metal floor of his bed chambers. Crossing his legs, he took several deep breaths and closed his eyes to concentrate on nothing else but the bond.

He felt it- felt her. Rey was asleep at this point and so he had the space to himself. He felt her mind and his own mind as separate entities, yet they were like two hands latched onto each other tightly. He was going to find a way to temporarily suspend their bond for as long as he could, even if it took all night.

He concentrated for hours, desperately searching for an "off" switch of some kind. He thought back to the feeling of being pushed back by Rey. She was able to push him back without much effort, something he himself has not figured out yet. Her distaste for him was probably the main factor in her success. Ren frowned. Even after the events of Starkiller, he couldn't come to hate her.

It disturbed Ren to great lengths that he couldn't find reason to truly hate Rey. She was an innocent bystander brutally pulled into this conflict just because of the power she wields. Even when she was y-

 _BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP_

The beeps of his stationary communications device pulled him from his frustrated meditation with a harsh growl. "It had better be worth it…" he spat, returning to his desk chair.

As soon as he pressed the accept button, Hux's image came into view and he wasted no time in explaining.

"Ren, I trust you received word from the Supreme Leader?" Hux's usual cockiness and confidence never wavered even after their humiliating defeat on Starkiller and it infuriated Ren to no end.

"No, care to enlighten me, Hux?" Ren smugly answered back. He knew exactly what was coming, but the Supreme Leader happened to leave out the specific date and took the chance that the general may know.

"Supreme Leader requests your presence- congratulations on your absolution by the way, good work on those retrieval missions this year- back to the main base on Acarro. We arrive no later than ten standard days from now.

"By the maker…" Ren muttered under his breath. He needed to double time this experiment if he was going to keep the bond a secret.

"What was that?" Hux smirked.

Instead of answering the proud general, Ren hung up and sank back to the ground, desperately prodding at the bond once again.

"I need to find something… anything…" he growled. Ren began focusing on himself. He was trying to anger himself. He thought of Rey. How he failed her, how he failed Snoke, how he failed himself. He focused on every negative aspect he could imagine and stuck a memory to the word.

Hate. He hated the traitor FN-2187. Punished. Because he failed on Starkiller he was being punished. Abandoned. His mother abandoned him when he was young and terrified. Pressured. He needed to stay strong all the time and keep to his cold reputation. Weak. He couldn't beat the Scavenger Girl who was untrained. Torn. He now questions what is right or wrong. Scared. Scared of his power, scared of Snoke, scared of Rey. Guilt. What he did to Rey… so long ago… he cannot help but feel guilt for lea-

There was a still in their mind. It was much more silent and empty than before. The feeling he felt was similar to the time before the bond- when he was alone. He felt alone. He concentrated on the familiar feeling of loneliness and the barrier began to crumble. Ren instead thought about his guilt for Rey and the barrier returned.

Ren opened his eyes and stared at the wall, still concentrating on the barrier. It held but wavered as soon as his mind drifted toward other thoughts. He had the ability figured out, now all he needed to do was practice.

And he had ten days to practice.

He felt more guilt toward Rey now that he'd learned to use this ability. He was leaving her alone on the day she was leaving, but it was all for the best. He couldn't afford to let up this practice for too long lest he lose the hold.

* * *

Leaving the _Finalizer_ was tricky. Ren had to avoid Hux's watchful eye and basically had to sneak around to make sure the least amount of people watched him leave via personal fighter.

The flight to the Tatoo system was easy until he realized.

He was going to meet Rey soon.

Ren needed to sort what he was going to say to her. Should he tell her her family ties right away? Or should they discuss the bond first? What did they have to talk about in terms of the bond anyway?

It was early in the evening when Ren landed on the sands of Tatooine. Rey had not arrived yet and he had no clue as to when she would be arriving. Surprisingly, the barrier held up through his pacing and mental organization.

"You come from- no no no… You- You are from- No!" He growled in frustration and unsheathed his red lightsaber. He swung it and twirled it in hopes of stirring up a good explanation.

He only stopped at the realization of a presence. He'd left the barrier down for who knows how long and she sensed him in the area. She said nothing and her feelings were unknown, but he knew she was probably as nervous as he was. Sighing, he retracted the unstable red blade and walked away from his fighter, hoping to not scare her away.

He finally stopped at a large boulder and hid behind it in an effort to hide from the heat of Tatoo I and Tatoo II. Both suns were toward the horizon now and were already beginning their descent.

"How grandfather survived this wretched planet is beyond me," grumbled Ren as he kicked up sand only to have the dust fly back onto the lower half of his robes. He groaned and began leaning against the cooler side of the boulder. He made his presence known to Rey.

"Hopefully she doesn't get lost," he sighed again.

* * *

Soon, Ren heard her footsteps nearby. Glancing up at the sky, it was apparent that part of one sun had already disappeared. The cold was setting in and Ren was feeling much more comfortable in his black ensemble.

' _Just like Jakku…"_ the sound of her whispering mental voice sent chills down Ren's spine. If she meant for him to hear what she had said, he'd never know.

Rey came into view beside the boulder. How easily he could strike her down from here was rather sad. Instead of executing the cruel thought, he pushed himself off the boulder and decided to make himself known before she believed him to be sneaking up on her.

"You're late."

* * *

 **Yes I pulled Acarro out of my ass. I thought it sounded cool.**

 **I am also a huge Bioware fan as you can tell by Kylo Ren's little thing there. For some reason I thought it was hilarious that C3PO yelled "By the maker!" when greeting Han Solo on TFA.**

 **Have a great day!**


	7. Opia

**You don't know how many times I wrote, deleted and rewrote this chapter oh dear LORD. It was one hell of an adventure just trying to fit everything in without too many errors in continuity and other weird shit. Well, anyway here's the next chapter. I feel like I've waited too long to post this so I'm goin all in here. I will most definitely take time to edit this son of a bitch chapter over the next few days or so.**

 **So starting 3/30/16 until maybe 4/4/16: If you see I updated the story, I probably edited the chapter and did not add another chapter yet.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

"You're late." she whipped her head to the left to find him leaning against a rock. Rey sighed, collected herself, and approached the rock carefully, her hand over the lightsaber clipped to her leather belt. He let out a sigh of his own and pushed himself off to face her. The wound on his face had healed into a scar that spanned from his right jaw up to his forehead. Rey felt something that resembled pride followed by courage and it helped her loosen up a little. She brought him to his knees once, and that was when she was untrained and scared of him. Who's to say she couldn't do it again now that she could handle herself even better than before?

"Late? We didn't even agree on a time," she cocked an eyebrow. She knew that this would annoy Ren and had to hold back a smirk.

"The suns are setting, therefore it's late-"

"But I'm not late," Rey's efforts were in vain as her grin spread across her face as vibrant and large as the scar on Ren's face. He learned a couple months ago- when she started opening up to him- that Rey was indeed playful at times. However, this display of playfulness seemed to be more of an icebreaker rather than a simple act of playfulness.

Groaning, Ren shook his head. He didn't have much time or patience for this "Alright, fine you're not late. Now can we focus on the matter at hand? We did agree to meet to discuss things privately. I saw you arrive in the Falcon and I suspect you have company awaiting your return," he harshly said. His harshness did not appear to faze Rey, who probably would have been nervous at his unpredictableness.

Rey nodded. "Yes, now what do you know-"

"Sabers," Ren interrupted. Reaching to his side. Rey quickly let her hand hover over her own lightsaber for security. She kept a watchful eye on every movement, anticipating an advance toward her.

"What?" She scowled. Although she was confident in her abilities, Rey still needed to exercise caution around Ren, who was still a strong opponent. Rey watched Ren slowly and carefully unhook his lightsaber. She was ready to do the same until he bent down and gingerly set it on the sandy ground.

"In order for this to be a peaceful meeting, we need to keep the peace," Ren deadpanned. Rey nodded and did the same, all while making sure to keep her eyes on his hand for any unnecessary movement. Even unarmed, she needed to keep her guard up around Ren at all times.

Their eyes met by chance once Rey straightened. The intense opia between them lasted longer than it should have, but neither could pull away. They were able to share feelings and thoughts via force bond, but looking into each other's eyes seemed to be different. _Rey could feel all of his rage, passion, fear, anxiety and… guilt all at once within him. She knew he frequently felt these feelings, but never could she guess that the seemingly arrogant and over-confident Kylo Ren had such negative feelings all the time. Rey strangely felt a deep connection to some of these feelings._

 _It was as if she were reading him like a book and he was doing the same to her. Her secrets were as much his as his was to her at this point. For some unexplainable reason, she didn't mind the openness; and neither did he._

 _He saw and felt her loneliness, frustration, and curiosity through her memories and immediately began relating to her feelings. It felt as Ren was looking into a mirror. Their shared vulnerability via eye contact only made them understand each other a little better than before and Ren was grateful for it. Since their first civil conversation, Ren wanted to know everything about her: How she managed to carry herself each day on Jakku, what kind of life did she have living as a scavenger, what she values, her interests, the list goes on. Now, things were open to him. He drifted around memories, trying to absorb as much information as he could. It wasn't until he came across her as a young girl, just abandoned on Jakku, crying… alone..._

"You have many questions," he finally spoke, coughing into his fist. He looked away from her, seemingly trying to avoid her eyes. Rey kept her eyes on his diverted ones, but neither experienced the effects of the intense bond again. Part of Rey wanted to continue delving into the other's memories and feelings. Ren, on the other hand obviously was uncomfortable with something he saw.

Rey nodded, a scowl slipped. "Yes. And I know you have all of the answers," Ren leaned against the rock again. "How sure of you that I have all of the answers?" He questioned. He was obviously stalling for an unknown reason.

"Because all of the answers I want are the important ones. And I know you know the answers to the important ones," Rey's face was serious now. She was done playing his games and avoiding what she came here for.

Ren, sensing her irritation, nodded. He continued to avoid her eyes, still feeling sick at the memory he'd encountered in Rey's head. "How much do you know of me?"

Rey knew that he was either trying to ease her into what she knew was coming, or trying to stall for as long as possible. She took a chance on the considerate easing. "We knew each other before I was left on Jakku. We trained in Master Skywalker's academy before you betrayed him," Rey noticed the slight flinch at the word 'betrayal' and smiled inwardly. Whether he felt remorse or not for what he did, a reaction to an accusation like that told Rey that he did indeed feel something for that event.

"You remember then? Everything?" Ren's eyebrow cocked in an almost frightened- yet questionable way. He was either worried or scared. He sighed once Rey shook her head and he relaxed. "No, Master Luke told me that we knew each other once, I remember nothing of that time. What happened?" Rey's expression was expectant of an answer. Ren couldn't blame her for such confusion.

Still looking away from her face, Ren sighed. "I think it would be best if I showed you, you may not believe me if I told you. Hopefully I can control what I show you. Are you ready?" Rey continued to stare at him and his glowing red face. The first sun was completely gone and only one other sun remained visible beyond the horizon.

As soon as Rey nodded, Ren returned eye contact and once again, they fell into this special kind of understanding. It was like their mental space had a physical state they could visit.

 _"This is back at the academy," Ren's voice echoed as the memory came into view._

 _"Ben, why're you always out here by yourself?"_

 _Rey recognized the young voice to be her own when she was much younger. Rey stared at the young girl in robes and messy 3-tie buns. Rey barely recognized the older boy she was with. His ears protruded from his head. They were very large and very odd._

 _A sigh escaped young Ben Solo's lips. "Because I like to be alone. Don't you have training?" He was irritated and very much upset._

 _"Nope! Master Luke wanted us to take a break!" Young Rey grinned. She sat in front of the cross legged Ben. "No one likes to be alone-"_

 _"I do. It's… calming to be away from the rest of them," he spat the word 'them'._

 _"They're not very nice to you." Ben's ears turned red. He was getting angry. "No, they aren't." He growled, balling his hand into a fist._

 _Younger Rey's eyes were filled with worry. She took a moment to think her words over. "Well… Can I be alone with you? I promise I'll behave!" Ben's face was full of shock. The memory paused and faded._

 _"You showed me compassion when no one else did. I was shocked. At first I thought it was because you were too young, too innocent to really know how to hurt me. But over time I knew you were truly a special child with a kind heart," his voice was still echoing. Rey looked up at nothing, hoping to catch a glimpse of him somewhere in the blank expanse. "When I saw you again, it seemed that you still had that kind and loyal heart. To be honest, I didn't recognize you. I thought it was just a coincidence that you happened to resemble the girl that was once my friend. Because you looked so similar, I couldn't hurt you- intentionally at least,"_

 _"Why did you leave me on Jakku?" Rey spoke loudly, hoping her words reached him as his reached her. There was a silence. Instead of words, Ren had her observe another memory._

 _There was fire everywhere. Bodies were strewn about. Rey recognized the robes to be Jedi robes of all kinds. She noticed masked figures dressed in all black either engaged in battle or standing over dead bodies. It was a slaughter. One of the figures was shorter than the rest and had a young girl in front of him. It was younger Rey, slightly older than the previous memory, but still very young. She was screaming and trying to break from the shorter masked invader._

 _The mask was removed to reveal Ben, older than the last memory, but still had the features of a teenager. This was when he betrayed Master Luke and everyone else in the academy. "Rey! Rey! Stop it's me! You need to calm down!" Ben whispered loudly with a finger over his lips. Rey quieted her screams and stared up at Ben in terror._

 _"Ben! Where have you been? You left and suddenly all of these people are here! They're killing everyone and I don't know where Master Luke went!" Rey's words were stumbling out at rapid pace._

 _At the sound of footsteps, Ben put a hand over Rey's mouth and dragged her into the shadows. "Where is that boy?" Yelled a male intruder. Rey noticed the mask the invader donned was not like Ren's current- or rather former mask. It was black but resembled more of a stormtrooper's mask. Once the coast was clear, Ren let go and held onto either side of Rey's shoulders._

 _"Rey listen, we need to go. I can't leave you here," the look of panic was clear on his face. He hadn't been sleeping as there were dark circles under his eyes._

 _"B-but Master Luke!" She cried. The tears streamed down her cheeks. She was scared for not only her life, but the life of her master's as well._

 _"He's a grownup, he can take care of himself. Now, we don't have time to argue, we need to keep moving."_

 _The memory cut to the place Rey was all too familiar with- Jakku._

 _Ren, now out of his black garb, held onto Rey's hand firmly. She complained about the pressure earlier on and Ren only half complied with her arguments._

 _They stopped in front of a village. A large, and familiarly hideous creature stood under the sign of the village. "You that kid that contacted me?" Unkar Plutt. Rey's young face twisted into horror. She remembered her earliest memories of Unkar Plutt and it wasn't any better than her treatment when she was older._

 _"Yes. This is the girl I was talking to you about. Trust me, she'll be of good use to you. She's determined," his voice was shaky. Young Rey stared up in confusion and shock. "You're leaving me here, aren't you Ben?"_

 _"Don't call me that." He growled. Young Rey flinched and whimpered at his outburst. He let go of Rey and knelt in front of her so that they were at eye level._

 _He took her shoulders again "I'm sorry. It's just… difficult right now. Listen Rey, I need you to stay strong. I'll be back, I promise. I'll fulfill your wish to be my padawan, I swear I will. Just please… stay strong. Stay you. I'll be gone only a short while," his voice was cracking and the look on his face was full of sorrow and apology. Little did he know that apology, however, was one Rey was never going to accept._

 _"Ben don't go!" She swung her arms around Ben's neck and held on tight. Ben slowly brought a hand to her back to hold her._

 _"Hurry it up will ya! I got work to do!" Yelled Unkar Plutt._

 _Ignoring the hoarder, Ben whispered. "I'm sorry Rey. I hope you can forgive me, but I need to keep you safe- where no one could find you. But I will find you one day and we'll be the most powerful master-padawan duo. May the force be with you."_

 _Ben raised the hand from Rey's back to touch the back of her head. Rey jolted for a moment before relaxing again. She let go and stared at Ben's face blankly._

 _"Who are you?"_

 _Ben smiled sadly. "You'll find out soon. Be good okay?"_

 _Shock took Rey. She didn't know who this was but it seemed as though he was leaving her. She looked around her to find Unkar approaching her._

 _"I'll be back for her and you will be paid well for your services. Nothing better happen to her… or else." His tone darkened and Unkar scoffed._

 _Ben took one last glimpse of her before walking off to the shuttle he stole. He heard her screaming for him to come back up until he took off._

 _The memory faded to white._

"The guilt of leaving you stuck throughout the years. I'd hoped to come back to you after I proved myself to Snoke, but it seems that up to now, I'm not complete in my training," he scoffed in embarrassment and appeared next to her. His words no longer echoed once he appeared. He did not look at her and instead stared at the spot where the memory had appeared. "Had I known you were suffering all these years, I would have come back sooner and suffered whatever consequences Snoke would have for me," He took a breath. "I don't expect you to forgive me ever. I do, however hope to gain your trust again," he turned to face her and once he looked down upon her shocked face, his face tinted pink. "I will admit that you still fascinate me. And I realized that through our bond, that I still enjoy your presence even now. It's hard to explain exactly what it's like, but you… radiate warmth," he looked for a reaction, but found only the same shocked expression.

Maybe she was waiting for him to say something in particular, or maybe this was all too much to take in? He may have-

POW

* * *

 **I'M SO SORRY I LIKE CLIFFHANGERS. Things will be answered next chapter don't worry! I WILL ALSO NOT END NEXT CHAPTER WITH A CLIFFHANGER SO DON'T WORRY.**

 **I'm on Spring Break starting 4/2/16 so I'm going to be working on the edits of this chapter until maybe 4/4/16. So don't expect a chapter until 4/9/16 to 4/16/16 or so.**

 **Thank you so much for the reviews, follows and favorites! You guys mean so much to me 3 (And thank you for being so patient with me)**

 **Please have a wonderful day!**

 **Edit (4/15/16) some formatting was all jacked up sorry about that folks!**


	8. Answers

**I'd like to shout out to the reylo family from Tumblr! Love you guys!**

* * *

The force of her punch knocked Ren out of their mental world and back to the physical world. He woke up on the ground, gently prodding his throbbing cheek. Looking up, Ren found Rey standing over him, full of rage with her hands balled into fists.

"You bastard!" She screamed. Ren snapped out of shock to glance at the lightsabers that lay in the sand behind them. He thought for sure she was going to lunge for her saber, but it seemed Ren's sense of anticipation was off today. Instead, Rey took a handful of his robes and pulled him so he was face to face with her. Ren couldn't look her in the eye.

"You left me on that wasteland to keep me safe? Why Jakku? Why there? There's a whole galaxy out there!" She shook him vigorously and full of rage. Ren didn't exactly know how to react to this sudden outburst. He felt her rage toward him as if it were his own. At the root of that rage was the familiar feeling of betrayal.

He put his hands up defensively. She needed to calm down soon or else there was a large possibility of a fight to occur. They didn't need to attract any attention to themselves, lest they wished to attract Tusken Raiders. She punched him again and he grunted. "Do you know what I've been through because of you?" He whipped his head to face her again, making sure to avoid her eyes "Rey! Calm down!" Ignoring the pain from his cheek, he tried to yell over her cries of "You left me!" His heart hurt for her. He didn't realize he put her through so much agony.

He could feel the darkness growing within her. The warmth he'd previously admitted to enjoying was quickly disappearing into the dark. This wasn't her. This isn't what Rey wanted to be. He didn't want to be the one to change who she was.

"Rey I'm sorry!" He yelled. Ren still couldn't look her in the eye. He just couldn't.

"You left me! You-" she sniffed and suddenly, tears began rolling down her cheeks. One fell upon Ren's cheek and suddenly he felt like an even bigger asshole.

She stopped shaking and yelling in favor of wiping her face to stop her tears from falling. Ren took the opportunity to sit up and pull her into his arms. It was not a hug but more like a cradling hold "I'm so sorry" was all he could whisper. Rey's forehead bumped his shoulder as she attempted to hide her face from him.

They stayed like this for a long period of time. The sun was almost completely gone. It was cooling but the cold bothered neither of them. They didn't have much time left. They both had places to be.

Once Rey calmed herself, Ren spoke again "I let you suffer my loneliness, my agony, my isolation, my distrust. I'm so sorry Rey," he spoke slightly above a cracked whisper. He felt her emotions shift from anger to melancholic desolation. She looked him in the eye and without thought he looked back. Even without the sun's assistance, he could see the irritated redness of her eyes. He blinked.

 _Ren saw her, lying in an old rusted AT-AT that had to be from the times of his grandfather. She looked like she was barely even 13. He approached her and crouched beside her curled up body. 'Is she sleeping?' He thought._

 _Outside there was a sandstorm and every so often, sand blew in through the cracks and piled onto younger Rey. As he got closer he caught a sniffle every other breath. She wasn't sleeping, but crying. He looked over to take a look at her face. Rey was curled up and clutching her stomach, crying in pain. By her thinness Ren was able to deduce that she was starving. She was starving and couldn't leave to find food and no one else was around to take care of her._

 _She was alone and starving. By his horrible choice._

" _I'm so sorry," he whispered, his face in horror. A tear threatened to escape to his cheek. He'd done this to her. It was surprising that she didn't try to kill him as soon as she found out._

" _I'm so sorry," he continued whispering._

"I can't forgive you for that now and I don't know if I ever will," her voice brought him out of the memory. Her voice was dry and worn from yelling and crying. "I understand," he nodded. "After what I saw, I wouldn't forgive me either," Rey nodded part in embarrassment and part relieved. She didn't want him to see her at her weakest point, but she got the anger out of her system and she got him to understand her anger. Now that they discussed it, both were ready to stop talking about Jakku.

Rey looked down and noticed that she was sitting on his lap, straddling him. Ren felt her embarrassment rise and noticed the situation as well. Rey shot up and walked toward the boulder, away from Ren who stood moments later, coughing into his fist again.

"Ah, so," Ren mumbled. Thankfully it was dark and they were distant so that Rey was unable to see how red his face probably was at this point. Little did Ren know that Rey's cheeks were burning up as well. He rubbed his sore cheek. That was going to leave a good bruise. That's going to be hard to explain. He could imagine Hux's smug face once he got back to the Finalizer.

"Do you have any more questions?" He strained.

"Yes I do. I want to know what would have happened if you came back for me?" She paused and her calmer tone twisted into enmity "Were you going to brainwash me or force me to the dark side?" Rey's expression was serious again. Ren didn't expect her to hold back on the questions tonight and prepared for anything she threw his way.

"Rey, I had no intention of brainwashing you or forcing you to the dark side. If you accepted my offer, that would have made it much easier-"

"-to use me-" Rey interrupted.

"-to keep you close. And to answer your question…" Ren stepped toward her and looked at her distant eyes. "Look into my eyes again. I'm not entirely sure how this works, but we can find out together. We can learn about how this bond works as you get your answer," Rey flinched at 'together'. She did need answers and was undoubtedly curious, but she still couldn't trust him completely. He'd been lying to her all this time and she wanted nothing more than to kick his sorry ass. However, as much as Rey hated to admit it, he was right. If they were going to be mentally chained together they'd might as well explore this flashback-vision aspect of it while they had the time to. She took a breath and looked up into his eyes again.

 _Rey saw fire everywhere. A rebel base in the background was in flames, explosions everywhere. It wasn't the base she knew of._

 _Stormtroopers brought out captured prisoners from the base. "This is what could have been," just as Ren's voice echoed through Rey's mind, two figures in black emerged from behind a downed x-wing. One she unfortunately recognized completely. It was Kylo Ren donning his signature mask; which was presently gone with Starkiller base. His red lightsaber was in hand and unsheathed._

 _The other figure was a woman with a similar mask to Kylo Ren's. His shorter companion held a staff-like lightsaber with the red beams shooting out from either side. "My staff…" she whispered to no one._

 _Rey's heart continued to quicken its pace and her stomach felt sick. The two figures were approaching her, but were unlikely knowing of her existence. They seemed to be deep in conversation as they walked. The girl deactivated her saber first then her taller counterpart followed._

" _-another prisoner. I'll find the coordinates to the main base, Ren."_

 _Rey's heart stopped. It was her voice- but not her voice. It was a voice full of evilness meshed with a helmet filter. This wasn't her. "This is a world where you never met your traitorous friends and you were trained by Snoke and myself. We could have been unstoppable,"_

 _Rey shook her head and shouted into the imaginary sky "This isn't me!" she looked back and followed her fake self. She was blocking and dodging blaster fire as she casually walked back toward the flaming base._

" _It isn't. I'm sorry to say I'm not relieved, but it is done now. I cannot change who you are without harming you and I don't want to harm you Rey," the way he said her name sent a shiver down Rey's back. Rey noticed that every time he says her name it is usually in a very soft and kind tone. She hated how a simple utterance of her name could make her shiver. She said nothing else in response._

"You said that back on Starkiller," Rey said as soon as they broke eye contact. "You said 'this gave you no pleasure'. Why are you afraid of hurting me?"

"You… are still… ah," Ren stumbled. He shook his head "You- You- You are," an amused smirk took over Rey. "Why are you looking at me like that?" He scowled. The smirk never faltered. Rey shook her head in response. "Don't worry about it, now continue,"

"You think this is hilarious, don't you? You think it's hilarious because you already know the answer," Ren scoffed and rolled his eyes. Rey chuckled at his childish response. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Please enlighten me?"

Ren drew his lips together. "Okay, that's one question you cannot ask me. Any more questions? I believe we are running short on time," deep inside, Ren was truly enjoying her and her company despite his protests. It's been a long time since he could just talk to someone and even longer since he could talk to someone about deep and personal things.

Rey sighed in mock disappointment and nodded "Fine. I'll get it out of you one day," "I have no idea what you're talking about," Ren copied her exaggerated mock and smirked. Rey smiled and Ren's face lit up. Her beautifully genuine smile engulfed him in the warmth he craved. It was as if he had taken a drug that put him at ease with everything. He needed more. He was hooked to her joy.

"One last thing for now, you disappeared today. I couldn't feel you and you didn't respond. It was really strange and emp-" she cut herself off. She didn't want him to know how empty it was without him around. She didn't want to boost his inflated ego.

However, he seemed to have caught on. He smirked "So you missed me that much Rey?"

"It's not funny! I didn't know what happened!" Her tone was more urgent than she hoped it to be. There was too much truth in that response. She didn't want him to know that she did indeed miss his presence in her head. She didn't want him to know how reassuring it is to have his company all the time. She didn't want him to know that strangely enough, she cares a bit.

This took Ren aback. He didn't know that his absence would affect her this greatly. In fact, he thought his absence would relieve her.

"I-I'm sorry," he didn't know what else to say.

"You seem to be saying that a lot today," she scoffed, her voice serious and harsh.

"Yes, it's surprising but I mean it. I am sorry," Ren spoke seriously to try to match her own seriousness. He did mean every sorry he spoke to her. He felt horrible and he'll probably always feel horrible for everything he did to her. He took everything from Rey without even knowing.

"I purposefully blocked you out. I needed to learn to do this because I am to meet Supreme Leader Snoke soon and I must make sure this bond stays a secret. Trust me in this," he checked Rey for any sign of approval, but she showed none until she nodded.

"How did you do it?" She suddenly asked. Ren was confused. "Why do you need to know how to do it?" Did she have to hide from anyone else?

"It just doesn't seem fair for you to be the only one who knows how to do it," she pouted.

And Ren spent their remaining time together explaining the process. She managed to keep the barrier strong for 10 minutes. Through the training, Ren decided that maybe teaching her this would be for the best. They could take turns holding up the barrier while Ren was around Snoke.

"That's all I know. If I ever disappear, just know that Snoke is around," Ren said. Rey nodded "make sure to let me know when you need me to take over,"

"So when should we meet next?" Rey asked. "It should be when we next find ourselves with extra time. I'm fairly certain neither of us know when that will be," Ren sighed. He dreaded the wait and it didn't help that he had no idea how long they were to wait. Today was the first time in a long time that he has had spare time "Alright then,"

They stood in front of each other in silence. They took short glances at the other before their eyes met again. Nothing happened this time.

Rey spoke up first "I-ah need to go," she turned and bent to pick up her saber. She clipped it to her belt and gave one last glance at Ren before quickly walking off in the direction she came from.

Sighing, Ren watched Rey walk off. "Back to work I suppose," he mumbled as he belted his own saber. He looked back to where Rey was walking off to before walking in the direction of his own shuttle.

* * *

On the walk back he felt confused and giddy. The confusion wasn't entirely his own and his giddiness was causing his heart to beat faster. "Maybe it was from all of the excitement… Yeah. But what's wrong with Rey? Should I ask her?" Ren reached his shuttle and stopped his mumbling to get situated inside.

He leaned back in the pilot's seat and groaned "is it too soon to talk to her? Should I wait?" He shook himself out of his rambles and began his ascent.

He still didn't know how he felt about Rey. She was his only friend and he loved her for it so long ago, but she's different now. She's no longer the little Rey he once knew. She's darker and understandably so. She grew up harshly and had to grow up too fast. All the innocence that was there was replaced with maturity. Ren was relieved to learn that, although she had to grow up on her own, she still had a good heart.

This new Rey intrigued him and he was desperate to learn more about her. He didn't know why, but he felt the need to be around her. He craved the warmth that seemed to radiate off of her, but that was like being close to a star. He was scared that if he got too close he'd burn, however if he got too far, he'd freeze and never feel warmth again.

He wanted to make everything up to her, but she wouldn't let him. Ren wanted to be rid of this never ending guilt, but he had no idea how to when all she did was push him away. Maybe this bond was his second chance? Now that they were basically stuck together, could he possibly get her to forgive him? Why was his heart beating so fast?

* * *

 **OK SO TODAY (4/10/16) IS MY LAST DAY OF SPRING BREAK. WOW.**

 **Alright so I hope you enjoyed and if you have any comments or concerns don't be afraid to ask! That helps me clear up confusion and edit my story to prevent any more confusion! I'm not a great writer so I need to rely on reviewers.**

 **Have a wonderful day!**


	9. Welcome Home

**Okay welcome back! First off, I'd like to thank ALL of you who reviewed, favorited and followed LMI it means so much to me you don't understand! Chapter 8 we hit a new record of people reading LMI! I almost passed out when I saw the hits and all of the favorites and follows! Thank you all for your support! It's what keeps me going!**

 **Now please enjoy!**

* * *

The journey to D'Qar was uneventful and oddly quiet. Rey said nothing when she arrived back on board the _Falcon_ despite the questions flooding in from C3PO. Rey swore that droid was more organic than it should have been. Thankfully neither Chewie nor Artoo said anything to Rey after their greetings went unanswered.

She wasn't angry anymore, but she was horribly confused and needed some silent time to clear her head. After the events on Tatooine, Rey's head was scrambled. All of this was too much to take in all at once and she had no outlet.

She didn't know who to trust with all of this new information. If she told Finn, he'd call her crazy for even being near Kylo Ren. She didn't know Poe well enough to tell him much so he was out of the question. Chewie- well, Rey didn't know about Chewie. Would the Wookie take it well? Maybe, but it's too much of a risk. BB-8 would most definitely not appreciate her talking to Ren and Rey didn't know Artoo or C3PO very well. Leia would probably be the most logical option, but like Finn and Chewie, would she take it well? Certainly if Luke thought that the force bond was going to help bring Ben back, hopefully Leia would think so as well?

* * *

The landing strip was so full of people you'd think the whole base had come to greet her. _Her._ She was previously some unimportant scavenger trash from Jakku. No one ever paid much attention to her, especially not like this. Anxiety and giddiness flooded Rey's heart. All of these people really were here just for her. This wasn't a dream.

Rey stepped out on the loading ramp to a bustle of cheers. From the head of the crowd came General Leia herself, a warm and welcoming smile on her face.

"Welcome back Rey," she held a hand out and Rey took it with a smile of her own. Leia shook her hand and squeezed it with both hands before letting go. "I hope you had little difficulty coming back, you took a while. Did you make a stop?" Rey's heart stopped for a second. ' _Does she know already? Maybe she senses it?'_ Rey thought. Luke did mention his sister was force sensitive, but Rey couldn't have imagined Leia's untrained power.

' _What are you going about this time?'_ Ren mentally sighed.

' _Nothing, don't worry about it,"_ she shot back. Ren didn't say anything after. She still needed to get used to sharing her mind with Ren and be more careful with her thoughts. Maybe if she used the barrier…

"Rey? Are you okay?" Rey's head snapped to look down at Leia, who was waving her hand in front of Rey. Rey's face turned red in embarrassment. "A-ah yes! I'm fine, completely fine. I ah- Master Luke wanted me to bring this to you," she hastily dug her hand into her side pouch and extended the old holo to Leia. Leia gave Rey a questioning look before accepting it. Rey sighed in relief. She needed to be careful both mentally and physically from now on.

"So Luke didn't come back with you, huh?" Leia scoffed and shook her head, looking down at the holo in her hand. "That stubborn little…" Rey caught her muttering. "I'm sorry, I tried my best to bring him back," Rey gave her an apologetic smile and Leia smirked "oh I didn't actually expect you to bring him back. But now that he knows we've been looking for him he'll be back. I'm sure of it," Leia's expression became hopeful. The hope this woman inspired amazed Rey. Leia reminded Rey of some of the old women back on Jakku, who'd tell her that one day, she'd get off Jakku and see the galaxy. Their stories and the possibility of a family were what kept Rey going on Jakku. Now that she was off Jakku (in a most unexpected way) she had no old women to help her keep going. Not until now, at least.

"Rey!" a familiar voice in the crowd shouted. Rey scanned the crowd and found the source pushing and shoving his way through the crowd. Behind him was another familiar face. Once the two figures broke free from the crowd, Rey ran.

"Finn!"

Ren could not concentrate on his meditation with Rey being so happy and clouding his- their head. Once he reached the _Finalizer_ he felt Rey's confusion which later evolved into anxiety and then finally to seemingly ceaseless joy. Not that he didn't want Rey to be happy or anything, but her joy was extremely distracting.

He couldn't help himself but to bask in her joy as if he was basking under a warm sun. Before their bond, he couldn't remember a single recent memory in which he was truly happy. Now that she was here, reminding him what happiness felt like, he couldn't get enough and that alone troubled him.

Once all of the greetings and celebrations were over, Rey was called into Leia's office to discuss Rey's training, future plans, Luke's wellbeing, and so on.

Throughout the conversation, Rey desperately wanted to tell Leia everything about Ren, the bond, and of course the meeting.

"Rey are you alright? You're spacing out on me again. I know I'm old, but I'm not that boring am I?" once again, Rey was pulled from her own little world by Leia. Shaking her head Rey stammered "I-I'm sorry general! I'm just… very tired is all!" Rey laughed nervously. It wasn't a lie for the most part. The journey was long and she just wanted to go find her quarters at this point. Nodding, Leia sighed. "Rey, tell me what's up. I'm not buying it,"

' _Your emotions are incredibly fluctuant today,"_ Ren was exactly what Rey didn't need right now. She ignored him and sighed in defeat.

"I'm sorry general-"

"Leia. Just call me Leia,"

"-Leia. I really don't know how to explain this to you to be quite honest," Rey scratched her arm in nervousness. She needed to be careful. She didn't want to give the lovingly brave general false hope. Leia has had enough grief to last her several lifetimes.

"Don't worry, take your time,"

* * *

Ren stared at himself in the mirror. The scar on his face served as his reminder of his weakness. No matter what Rey was to him in the past, she was against him. He should have cut her down back on Starkiller. He should have gotten that map out of her no matter how painful it would have been for her. If only he didn't hold back on her from the beginning, he would have found and killed Luke Skywalker, he would have proven himself to the Supreme Leader and he could have completed his training.

The universe was cruel, especially to Ren. He worked hard to be where he was now- he sacrificed everything to get to this point. He was ready to face his destiny and kill Luke Skywalker. But now the universe decided to bring back the most complicated thing in his life.

When he first saw her on Takodana, he was in denial. It couldn't have been her. But of course it was and as soon as he figured it out, she slipped through his grasp. Ren remembers being so furious that she'd managed to escape he destroyed the interrogation room in his fit of rage. He felt like a fool that day. He'd thought that she wouldn't have been able to work her powers if she tried to escape, but he'd forgotten how smart she was.

Ren still didn't know exactly why he was so angry. Was it because he realized that his first friend had just slipped away again? Or was it because she wasn't on his side this time? Or was it...

Rey's face popped into his head. It was back on Starkiller base and she had just defeated him. She was looking down at him with all of the hatred she could muster. She was ready to kill him with the saber that was once destined to be his. Part of him wished she did. At least he'd be free of this suffering life he occasionally questioned.

What exactly was he going to do? Rey was back and now his mind was clouded with thoughts of her. He didn't know what he was going to do once the final fight between them comes. Could he actually kill her was the real question.

He needed to stop thinking about her now, the _Finalizer_ was docking and Snoke was waiting.

* * *

Talking to Leia about the bond went smoother than Rey first imagined it to be. Leia was even as hopeful as Luke had been about the whole thing. Now that both Skywalker twins believed that she was the only one to bring back Ben Solo, more and more pressure was being placed onto Rey. And this wasn't even supposed to be her main focus.

Laying in her cot, she devised several plans to try to persuade him.

As much as she herself wanted to bring Ben- or even some semblance of Ben Solo back from the dark side, she questioned her qualifications and abilities to do so. She was never good at consoling others and favored beating her problems away with her staff instead. However, Rey admitted to feeling the bit of light within him. He still had his humanity and showed his gentler side to her. Maybe Ben Solo really was still in there and could still be saved. Maybe she did have a chance to save him.

Suddenly she felt… empty. It was empty and she felt so alone again "He must be near Snoke," Rey muttered as she rolled over in her cot. She closed her eyes and hoped sleep would take her quickly.

Strange enough, the emptiness bothered her. She'd been so used to having Ren accompany her everywhere that his mere absence was a large discomfort. "I'm mad, aren't I?" Rey sighed and rolled to the other side of her cot again. She repeated this routine several times as she was unable to sleep.

' _Was he okay? Was he still breathing? Is he really talking to Snoke right now?'_ So many questions filled her emptier head.

"Please be okay," Rey whispered, finally drifting off into sleep. Maybe she really was going mad. She really shouldn't care this much. Sure he was important to her in the past, but what else has he done to her but lie and hurt her? And not to mention Rey could never ever forgive him for abandoning her on Jakku. Why did she care so much?'

* * *

Kylo Ren strode through the main chamber of the Acarron Base with his head high. He made it so his face was void of emotion and concentrated on the mental barrier. He hated the need for the barricade and he hated how empty and incomplete he felt. He could only hope this meeting ended soon and he could go back to his quarters and check up on Rey. He didn't know what she was feeling at this moment. ' _Relieved, probably,'_ One day he'd make it up to her.

"Kylo Ren, you've returned," Ren stopped in front of the throne that was seated atop several steps. Ren wished he still had his helmet. Talking to Snoke was much easier with his helmet for he didn't have to look the mangled creature in the eye.

"Yes master. I am here on your call," he gave a short and curt bow and tensed as Snoke stood. He never stood and when he did, it was almost always never a good sign. Ren gulped once Snoke descended down the stairs and toward him. Once Snoke was close enough, he brought his face closer to Ren's. After a long look, he began to circle Ren as he stood there, helpless and staring at one point.

"Yes…" came the hiss. Once Snoke completed one full circle around Ren, He began another, and another, and another. "You seem… different Ren,"

Keeping his composure, Ren answered "I'm sorry, master. I'm afraid I don't understand," Ren was shocked at how well he was able to utter the words. He'd never lied to his master before for he feared the consequences if he did.

"Don't you lie to me, boy," he sneered, his voice full of venom. Ren shook his head "I am not master," he promptly answered. Huffing, Snoke stopped his circling and stopped in front of Ren.

"Very well. If you are lying, I will find out eventually Ren. You'd do best to remember that,"

"Yes master," Ren barked.

"Now, I have summoned you for a reason Ren. Come, follow me,"

* * *

' _Rey?'_

Rey's eyes snapped open at the whisper of her name. Rolling onto her back, she listened for it again.

' _Rey?'_ the same voice echoed in Rey's head. It was almost a whisper of a call.

It was him. He was back and her mind was their mind once again. He was okay.

' _What?'_ she answered. She held her relief in.

' _I... just wanted to make sure you were okay. That is all, erm, goodnight… I think?'_ Rey chuckled at his answer. He was concerned and Rey found that very uncharacteristically nice of him. Even with all of his niceness, Rey was not going to inform him of her odd thoughts. This bond was complex enough. She didn't need her emotions to get in the way of her as well.

She felt embarrassment rise on his end. He must have felt the glee coming from her and figured she was laughing at him. It was good. He needed to humility every once and a while. When she met him again on Takodana he was practically radiating arrogance and overconfidence. From this whole experience so far, her favorite part had to be bringing the mighty Kylo Ren's ego down to its imaginary knees.

' _Whatever you say, Ren. Whatever you say,'_

' _Just shut up and sleep,'_ oh she could just feel that adorable pout he was most definitely sporting at the moment. Wait- adorable?

* * *

 **YES REY, ADORABLE.**

I hope the POV switching doesn't confuse or bother anyone, I wanted things to be happening and I wanted to make sure everyone knew what was going on.

 **I'm so sorry but Adam Driver is ruining my life right now. His face… and those arms… JUST TAKE ME NOW. Well I mean not really, he is kinda married sooooo yeah that would be kinda weird.**

 **Anyway I hope you enjoyed, I was in a writing mood recently (you all inspired me to write!) so that's why we get a quicker update!**

 **ALSO remember there will always be a possibility that I will edit any chapter of this fic.**


	10. Malek

**Thank you all for your love and support!**

 **Please enjoy!**

* * *

The meeting room was tense. Leia just dropped the biggest bombshell but no one was staring at the general. They were staring at Rey.

"This is an outrage!"

"She's one of _them_!"

"Traitor!"

"She's a menace!"

"She'll get us all killed!"

The room burst into chaos. Officers stood and hollered their apprehensions and anger. Rey sat there and took it. She was expecting this reaction and made sure to prepare herself for this. She didn't blame any of them for their concerns, she would have acted the same way.

"Everyone quiet! Quiet!" Leia shouted. She ended up standing as well to get her voice heard. Rey could only stare at the table to hold in her insecurities. Surprisingly enough, Ren hadn't commented on her feelings yet. He was always punctual and he always had something to say.

"We're doomed!"

"She could be feeding them information! I bet they're listening in on us right now!"

"Everyone calm down! For the love of-"

"This is a security breach that could kill us all!"

"We need to get rid of her she's a-"

Fists slammed on the table "EVERYONE SHUT UP!"

The room stilled. Rey looked up and stared at the source of the outburst. It was Poe. Rey was terrified of his opinion most of all. He was her friend and no doubt Finn would agree with his opinion. Poe stood and stared down the whole room.

He let out a heavy exasperated sigh "Thank you. Alright, I know this is all hard to believe, hell I hardly believe it. But can we at least let our general and our Jedi friend explain?"

Nobody spoke a single word. The room was tense and deadly silent. Rey even forgot to take a breath. In a way she was relieved that Poe was willing to listen, but she was still troubled by the fact that he didn't even look at her.

"Thank you Poe. Now if everyone could take a seat we can continue,"

Rey glanced at Poe again and again. He was attentively listening to Leia, but Rey watched as his expression flicker. His eyes became grave for a split second before he shook it off as if he were shaking off sleep. For the first time ever, Rey wished Ren would butt in and ask her what was wrong. She desperately needed the distraction.

"Yes, everything you heard is true. Our Jedi, Rey, has some sort of mental connection to Kylo Ren. And before we break out into chaos again let me tell you the plan," the center of the meeting table glowed. There was a large dot in the center and all sorts of shapes surrounding the dot. "We've located a base on Acarro. It's big, and intel suggests this could be the First Order main base,"

A chill went down Rey's spine. Even though it was just a hologram, the mere size of the base was incredible. It had to be bigger than Starkiller.

"This is our chance. Snoke has to be here. And with Starkiller gone, no doubt other high profile targets are regrouping here. We don't have much time-"

"What does this have to do with your Jedi?" A voice from the other side of the table spoke up. Rey turned her gaze to them and saw the hatred in his eyes. She's never met the man personally, but Rey has noticed him by Leia's side many times. Now that she thought about it, Rey didn't even know exactly who most of the people in the room were and what they actually did. After all, she was just a solitary scavenger with no military background to speak of.

"From my understanding, they basically share a mind. They feel each other's emotion and they can communicate via thoughts," whispers erupted in the room. Rey shot a glance at Poe who was still attentive to Leia. "We can use this to our advantage. Lure Kylo Ren off Acarro and into our trap. He'll have all the information we need," a tinge of sadness caught Rey's ear.

The man who scowled at Rey earlier stood. "General, with all due respect, I believe this operation is of too much personal value to you. Kylo Ren may be your son, but he's still dangerous. How do you expect to hold him on this base anyway?" his voice was stern and much too harsh for such a delicate topic. However, a part of Rey couldn't help but agree with the man. This mission is too personal for Leia.

Leia looked over to Rey and Rey nodded in return. Standing, she took a deep breath and held her hands behind her back professionally. Perhaps if she could at least fake the role of a soldier by looking like one, she could be a soldier in their eyes. "That would be my job, sir-"

"Colonel Ares Wiker," he answered promptly. Now that Rey was standing, she noticed more of the Colonel's features. He was taller than her, older by at least a couple decades, and looked as though the sun had never touched his skin before. He wasn't yet wrinkled, but the lines around his green eyes showed signs of age. His blonde hair was slicked back and not a single hair was out of place.

"-Colonel Wiker, sir. I can subdue Kylo Ren in captivity-"

"And how, my dear, will you manage that?"

Rey paused. Really, she didn't even know herself. "...The force,"

"The force this- the force that, I've heard enough of this _force_ to last me three lifetimes. This is no game, girl. The force can't possibly do everything. General do you honestly believe our Jedi is capable of subduing Kylo Ren?" Wiker raised his voice and turned to the general. Rey sheepishly looked to the general as well. "Yes," no hesitation; which made Rey feel grateful but pressured at the same time.

"Colonel, as someone who cannot possibly understand the capabilities of the force and of Jedi, I suggest you remain seated," the inner stern mother was out of Leia and she commanded the room. The colonel muttered and sat down again, a scowl on his lips.

"Yes, I believe in Rey. Yes, I know she's on our side. And yes, this mission is too personal for me. Which is why I'm allowing Rey to conduct this mission,"

' _Wait, what?'_ Rey thought. This wasn't what they agreed on. This topic was never discussed between them. Why would Leia even consider Rey as the head for this operation? Rey had zero experience in the military and even worse she had zero experience leading others. She couldn't possibly lead this operation. And others in the room (not Poe) seemed to agree. She almost hopped onto the protester's side.

After a heated debate, Leia moved on.

"Now, Acarro. From recent reports I gathered, we certainly don't have the resources for this mission. The base is too big and those Anti-X-wing guns are everywhere," Leia highlighted to visible heavy guns on the hologram and sighed. "Now unfortunately, we cannot afford to run into battle right now like I originally planned. But, we also cannot wait too long. We're still not sure what they're planning next, but we can't give them enough time to whip up a new plan…"

And for the next hour the plan of attack was decided. They were going to execute _Operation Citadel_ within a year. For now, the resistance must recruit more soldiers and gather up any resources they can find in a year. Rey's mission however, was to plan out _Operation Homecoming_ and share the plan with the team Leia assigned to her.

In the hall, Colonel Wiker bumped Rey's shoulder as he passed her. Rey scowled at his back but continued walking. ' _Something definitely wasn't right about him…'_

' _Right about who?'_ Now he decided to show up.

' _Don't worry about it,'_ Rey internally sighed. Ren suddenly disappeared. Rey attempted to stifle a gasp that threatened to erupt. This has only been the third time he's shut her out, but the feeling this time was stronger. It was as if he were ripped from her mind this time.

Suddenly she was brought back to reality. All eyes were on her again. "Rey?" Leia's voice took her attention. "You okay?" She asked. Rey looked at all of the faces in the room. Many were horrified, some were in disgust, Poe was finally looking at her with his eyes wide. "I-I'm fine…" she nodded her head at Leia and took a deep breath.

"I don't think so. Rey you're as pale as a Nexu," Leia sighed. "Alright, meeting adjourned. We'll continue after supper," several officers stood abruptly and swiftly exited. Rey sat there, waiting for the commotion to settle so she may talk to Leia in private.

Rey eyed Poe from across the table. He was still sitting there, still staring at the First Order Acarro base map. Rey wanted to talk to him, but she feared his current mentality. It was likely that he hated her for lying or just simply because of the bond. ' _But it was also possible that he found this to be an advantage for the Resistance just like Leia said'_.

"Did you want to talk to me Rey?"

"A-ah, yes," she stood and they began their trek back to Leia's office space. Rey took one last glance at Poe and met his eyes by chance. She shot him an apologetic look while his eyebrows furrowed into an expression Rey couldn't read. Rey turned back to face forward and continued down the hall.

Once they reached Leia's office, Leia took no time in asking "What happened? Was it Ben?" Rey nodded. "He disappeared. He's disappeared before, but this is the first time I felt anything physical from his absence."

* * *

Ren hated this. He hated _him_. He hated everything. He didn't need a babysitter, he was an adult. The fact that he basically had one was humiliating and Ren could just sense the mockery from the Stormtroopers behind his back. However, the thing he hated most was the fact that he needed to conceal the bond from him. Ren didn't know if this man could even sense the bond, he wasn't a force user after all. But Ren couldn't risk it. He was an unknown.

Malek was a man of few words. He hid behind a mask- strikingly similar to Ren's old mask. He was almost as tall as Ren was but he seemed to tower over him all the time. It's only been an hour with him guarding Ren, but it's already felt like an eternity. And what's worse, it's been an hour without Rey. He didn't have time to explain to Rey the current situation and blocked her out as soon as Malek appeared.

As Ren strode down the halls of the Acarro base, he started thinking more about Malek. He'd never seen him before nor heard a whisper of his name before today. Ren didn't even know what his mission actually was. All he did was deliver a holo message of Snoke ordering Malek to watch Ren and boom, he was following him around like a shadow. The man obviously had no trace of force controlling capabilities, but from Ren's own experiences, the force could be sensed by anyone who knows how to feel it. This man could most likely sense the force since Snoke ordered him and only him to shadow Ren.

Hours passed. Ren filled out paperwork, trained, meditated, and ate in silence. He never addressed the looming figure. Occasionally he disappeared. The only times he disappeared were supper time, and for a time while Ren was training. He most likely ate in his own quarters, which gave Ren some free time with Rey.

' _Rey?'_

' _Ren?'_

Ren sighed in relief at the quick response. He felt remnants of anxiety from her side fade.

' _Are you okay?'_

' _Where the hell have you been? You were gone all day!'_ her emotions twisted into anger. He did leave her alone for several hours, after all.

' _I'm sorry, I must be quick, I don't know when he'll be back,"_ Ren looked over his shoulder for Malek, who was thankfully still absent.

' _He? Who-'_

Time was limited ' _Snoke is having me followed. I don't know if he can sense our bond and I don't want to risk it. I just want to let you know that I'll be in and out frequently, okay?'_

"What seems to be the problem Kylo Ren?" Malek's twisted voice almost made Ren jump out of his skin.

Scowling, Ren took another bite from his ration goo. It didn't taste like anything, but that was better than having it taste like shit. "I can't believe this is all we have on this rock. You don't happen to know the incompetent fool in charge of the supplies do you?" he spat as he took another bite. Hopefully Malek didn't notice. His question did hint that he may know a little something about the force.

Malek seemed to ignore his question "I have a message from you from Supreme Leader Snoke," his voice was monotone now. He held out the holo and turned it on. Snoke's image showed up in a flickering green. "Kylo Ren, I've received word of the Resistance attacking Kanu tomorrow. I'm certain our little Jedi will be there. Show her no mercy." he was gone without a farewell.

"I will not accompany you tomorrow, but I will be watching," Malek's monotoned voice irked Ren but the news was at least a tad bit hopeful.

Malek nodded to Ren and left his quarters, leaving Ren in silence again. Once Ren was sure he was out of range, he removed the barrier and Rey's mental voice echoed in his head.

' _What's going on Ren?'_

' _As I said before, I'm being followed. Snoke ordered a personal babysitter for me,'_ Ren mentally grumbled. He felt Rey's mockery loud and clear.

' _Wow. What did you do this time? Steal the last cookie from Snoke's personal cookie jar?'_ Rey made sure he could feel the smile that was spread across her face. She was relentless whenever she teased him.

Ren scoffed. ' _No, but I am concerned that Snoke may be suspicious of our bond. Also, may I ask what business do you have on Kanu?'_

Rey's shock made Ren chuckle ' _Someone's feeding you inside information, right?'_ she asked solemnly. ' _I'm afraid that's classified. But I felt it only fair to give you warning,'_ why exactly was he telling her this?

Rey remained silent. ' _What, no thank you? I may have just saved your life,'_ Kylo teased. Rey flushed at his words.

' _See you tomorrow,'_ and like that she unfocused from the bond.

She originally wanted to ask him why the bond suddenly hurt so bad, but now that he's brought up the possibility of a traitor on D'Qar, all of her focus was on the readiness of the fleet.

Springing up from her bed, Rey beelined for Leia's quarters. It was funny in a way. The enemy of the Resistance probably saved the fleet heading out tomorrow from total annihilation.

"Thank you," she muttered as her cheeks turned pink. Why did that keep happening to her? He'd say things that would make her heart race, her cheeks turn pink, and her lips curl into a smile. He was her enemy and she needed to remind herself of that fact. She needed to brace herself for the possibility of never bringing Ben Solo home. But now, it was hard to be even a few hours without him in their head. "Stop that Rey," she'd constantly mutter to herself. "He's only going to hurt you... Like everything else," the darkness shifted in her.

* * *

Ren felt her panic and embarrassment when she left. He smiled unknowingly but then broke out of his daze with a scowl. "You need to let go," he muttered. "She's not coming back. She's not the same," he shook his head as if it would rid him of these thoughts that continued to haunt him.

Rey was never going to join him on the Dark side, he realized. Snoke wanted her dead at this point and she had sworn to neither dark nor light. In a way he respected that. However, he felt the yearn to have her by his side. And it only seemed to grow by the day. Ren didn't know if it was the bond itself or their repeated interactions and constant company that pulled them closer to each other, but it was sure to be his ruin at this rate. She haunted his thoughts endlessly and his interest in her was borderline obsession. Rarely did his thoughts exclude her. He reminds himself of the danger that was inevitable if he continued the way he has.

How was he going to get through tomorrow?

* * *

 **Ok first of all, to clear up any confusion:**

 **The officers are gonna be made up by me. They will not be canon.**

 **The people in the Resistance call Rey a Jedi even though she isn't. She lets them believe she is just because it's easier than explaining her feelings.**

 **Malek is made up, but I did make him up based on Benicio del Toro's possible role in Episode 8 as an antagonist. We don't know his character yet, but there is talk of him being (older) Ransolm Casterfo from Bloodlines by Claudia Gray. The Reylo fam had the genius prediction that Benicio del Toro will basically be Kylo's babysitter cuz he fucked up on Starkiller. And because of tel Toro's character being around, Kylo aint gonna like that and he's gonna throw a bitch fit and that could possibly get the redemption wheels in motion.**

 **Remember, I will be editing so I wouldn't expect another chapter in maybe another week. It all really depends on my time and motivation.**

 **Thank you and have a wonderful day!**


	11. It Promises and Whispers

**WHAT? AN UPDATE AFTER ONLY A DAY? WHAT?**

 **All will be explained below. Again, thank you for all of your love and support! I've never been so motivated to finish a fic in my life really.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

The party had already started when Rey began her quick descent onto Kanu. As she was freefalling, she felt Ren get closer. He was making his way toward her as she fell through the air. ' _Be ready'_ he said with an almost animalistic nature. Rey could only imagine what he was doing at this moment. "Probably cutting down our troops with glee," she whispered gravely. She needed to stop him now.

She broke through the clouds and had a clear view of the battlefield. Rey took note of the amount of troops Leia dispatched. As soon as Rey managed to tell Leia the news, the general held an emergency meeting with the important officers of the resistance on D'Qar. After too much debate for a late night meeting, and several spiteful comments from Colonel Wiker, the vote was held and the majority voted on deploying more troops to make up for the fortifications done by the First Order. Now Rey felt as though they had a chance to take the base.

Scanning the battlefield and feeling through the bond, Rey spotted Ren's red lightsaber. He must have seen her break through the clouds because he was jogging up toward her landing zone, cutting down Resistance soldiers in his way. Rey growled as she watched him casually drive his blade through an unsuspecting soldier. She noticed the trail of bodies he left behind.

' _You are angry,'_ he stated. Oh yes, she was very much angry. Her mercy and senses began to slip.

* * *

Ren spotted the break in the clouds and saw her, freefalling toward the ground. Even for a force user, falling through the sky was dangerous. A single untimely force push could cost one their life. "What a fool," he sighed. He casually made his way toward the general area she could land and made sure to cut down as many Resistance as he could.

Her descent was faster than he initially thought so he sped up the pace to a comfortable jog. Still, he sliced and stabbed where he could and deflected shots and force pushed any and all in his way. He felt her anger begin to grow and flourish. She knew what he was doing. Usually, he didn't like upsetting her, but this shared anger she felt gave him this power he couldn't explain. It began taking him over like a drug.

He was almost right under her when she unsheathed her blade. Blue crossed red for a split second before Rey pushed off and away from him.

She was still angry. The power Ren had always craved coursed through him and seemed to pulse through Rey as well. Was she slipping?

"Fancy meeting you here, Rey," Ren mocked. To Rey, he sounded different. When they were alone and at peace, his voice was soft and gentle. Rey recognized this side of him as the Ren from the forest on Starkiller. Animalistic, looking for blood, full of rage. She still hadn't caught on what her fluctuating emotions do to him, but it seemed to work both ways. She felt freedom in the rawest form. The adrenaline pumped and made her feel as if she were bursting out of her own body.

Shots were being fired all around them, but despite the stray blast every now and then, the war seemed to ignore them.

Rey was the first to strike. Using the force, she lunged herself across a distance to meet with Ren's blade. "Do you feel it?" he asked, a wide and twisted grin on his face. Without another word, Rey separated and began swinging wildly at him, which he was parrying without much effort. Ren did notice the difference in Rey's ability and strength from last time they fought. Her blows were powerful and would have struck him down easily if he were not fueled by the same rage powering her.

In a way he was proud of her strength. She was harnessing the darkness he felt within her and surpassing all of his expectations. He thought she'd be sloppy and more animal-like. Instead, he got a huntress with powerful strikes intended to kill. The more she struck at him, the more her rage fueled her.

Ren didn't notice that in the midst of their heated battle, they'd moved to a more secluded area. The high of battle was beginning to wear off. "Rey," he growled. She continued to strike. "Rey," he nearly yelled this time. "Rey!" he stopped her mid-swing with the force.

"Let me go!" she yelled. That was when Ren noticed her eyes. They were gold. The sign of darkness was in her eyes already. Rey began squirming. Thankfully she hadn't learned how to break out of the hold… yet.

This realization shook Ren back to himself. "What have I done?" he mumbled. He'd done it again. This wasn't Rey. Not _his_ Rey. "Let me go you bastard!" she screeched. Sheathing his weapon, Ren approached her carefully and took her face in his gloved hands.

"Rey, come back," he whispered. Her rage was dying down, but the glowing hatred in her eyes remained. "Rey," he whispered again.

* * *

She'd never felt so… powerful. Like she could take on the galaxy all on her own. She was determined to cut down anyone in her way. Ren just so happened to be in her way. She was the most powerful out of the two of them at the moment and she was going to prove it. The darkness cradled her like the mother she never had. It gave her strength and encouragement like the father she always desired. It promised so much. Everything she was denied of. Luckily the denier was in front of her and she had a lightsaber in her hand.

Rey swung and swiped with her blade, letting the force aid in her blows. He was falling back into seclusion. Good, it will be easier to finish him off with little distraction.

* * *

She was a fool to allow herself to get stuck in this position. She squirmed and screamed, but nothing happened. The next moments were a blur and didn't even notice him approach her.

"Rey, come back," he was touching her face. The warm leather of his glove comforted her. The darkness told her to fight it.

"Rey," his voice was more pleading this time. Rey looked into his eyes and suddenly the rage subsided.

* * *

" _Come here," young Ben held his arms out to the crying youngling that was Rey. She ran into his arms and sobbed into his robes. A sigh slipped from Ben's lips "Don't worry, I got you,"_

 _A large feline-like animal lay on the ground. It's dark fur shined in the daylight and the hole went through it's chest and out it's back._

" _I got you," he whispered again, but this time the voice echoed in a deeper voice along with young Ben._

* * *

Rey was being held, she realized. Tears streamed down her face. "I'm sorry Rey, I did it again," it was Ren's voice. He was bent over and holding her, his face dug into her shoulder.

"Ben," she whispered. She realized her mistake. Ren slowly straightened, but did not let her go. "I'm sorry," he spoke gently.

Rey's first instinct was to hug him, which she did promptly. It took Ren a moment, but he eventually brought his arms tight around her in a protective way. He rested his chin on the top of her head and she dug her face into his chest. Ironically, she felt safe in the enemy's arms.

* * *

Far from their seclusion, the battle had been won by the resistance. Two men observe the two force users in intrigue.

* * *

 **Lil bit of Reylo, not much but we got a bit!**

 **I feel as though my fics are confusing so here is what I had in mind for the chapter:**

 **So this chapter was pretty heavy for Rey and Kylo. Kylo is still pretty conflicted about getting Rey to his side. He obviously has a soft spot for her and wants her to be happy, but the power he feels in her when she fell to the dark was very intoxicating. It made both of them powerful, which we know Ren craves power, and provides an opportunity to inch Rey closer to the dark side. But at the same time he doesn't want to change who she is because, again, he does have compassion for her. But since he's a baddie, he's like the fuck do I do now? And now (starting more in the last chapter) these two are developing feelings for each other and they don't know it (OR ARE THEY JUST DENYING IT).**

 **So my birthday is coming up soon, I will be gone for a week so Imma see how many chapters I can get out in a week before my birthday.**

 **I hope you enjoyed and please have a wonderful day!**


	12. Too Soon?

**AHHH You guys just make me feel so good I really don't deserve you guys ;u;**

 **To Noodle: yeah told ya fam. Seriously writing is not my forte I just enjoy my little story ramble a lot. I give you AUs and predictions no problem, but writing the actual story is kind of a nightmare. I'm probably gonna rewrite that chapter to make it comprehensible. Thanks!**

 **Thank you so much for all of the early birthday wishes!**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

She still wasn't exactly sure what Ren was sorry for. There were too many things he needed to apologize for.

Rey was still on Kanu, looking for any stragglers still hiding in the base. Behind her was the troop she was to lead in the capture of Kylo Ren. They hoped to capture him and save the extra operation. However, Rey made sure to it that he got off the planet. Hours later, he disappeared from their mind and she had much to regret.

' _I'm such an idiot,'_ she repeated over and over again in her head. She had Ren. And like the idiot she was, she let him go. It could have been easy, but no. For whatever reason she just had to let him go.

Her mind slipped to the long embrace and Rey swore she could still smell him and feel the warmth of his embrace. Her cheeks went red right away and she slapped herself, gathering questioning stares from her taskforce, but luckily no vocal questions or concerns. She didn't care about the attention anyway. The only thing she could focus on was what happened outside not even an hour ago. She lost her head and first second he was enjoying it and then the next second he was holding her in his arms and whispering her name. Was he playing her? Or was he actually sincere when he confessed to caring about her only hours before?

"Ma'am!" cried one of her soldiers. However, as much warning as she got, she still ran into a wall.

* * *

It was on the shuttle ride home when she began to think of him again. For once, Rey was grateful that Ren needed the mental block most of the time. She was a mess of emotion that she needed to meditate on privately.

 _They broke the embrace with slight reluctance. Rey's hands slid down his arms with the intention to let go, but he stopped her hands by his elbow._

" _Wait," he broke the silence and took a breath. "I'm sorry," Why did he feel the need to touch her as he apologized? Rey said nothing in response and gave him a questioning look. "Rey… I've told you this before, but I need to tell you again. I care about you," Rey opened her mouth to call him insane but he cut her off. "And before you say anything, I don't expect you to care about me back. I just want you to be happy. So please. Never stop being you Rey. And damn me for being a hypocrite, never give into the dark," his tone was sincere in all ways. The intense look in his eyes went hand-in-hand with his struggling words._

" _I don't want to fight you anymore," was it so bad that she'd suddenly lost the desire to fight him as well?_

Why did he have to confuse her? The complexity of the situation had just widened and Rey was drowning in emotions and confusion. Everything could have been much simpler. Her heart skipped as the memory passed again. He was so close to her, he was holding her and touching her and looking at her with a look that melted her heart. She wasn't sure that he knew what he does to her.

She was indeed screwed.

* * *

Escaping Kanu was easy. Facing Snoke was the difficult part. Ren stood at a distance from the throne with Malek standing behind him, resuming his looming. Snoke ranted and raved. He cursed Ren and the Resistance equally. He called him weak and spineless. He even brought up the accusation from a year ago that Ren surprisingly lived up to. He did indeed have compassion for her, but of course he couldn't openly admit it to Snoke while he was in front of him. It was especially worse now that Malek lingered behind him. It almost felt that Malek was secretly holding a dagger under his robes, which would explain why he was always behind Ren. A swift stab in the back could end all of Snoke's problems.

Ren sulked in his room afterward, the memories of today replayed in his head. He confessed to caring for Rey to her face, but what did Rey feel toward him? Was it still hatred? Ren brought his gloved hand to trace the scar left on his face. The slight dip of the mark reminded Ren of Rey's anger and hatred toward him.

The knock at the door and sudden intrusion brought Ren out of his trance. "Kylo Ren," Malek nodded to Ren in a mock bow. Ren suppressed the bond immediately.

"What do you want?" Ren's spiteful responses to Malek was becoming routine although it had only been a week.

"Losing Kanu was most unfortunate," he simply stated. The mask made him unreadable to Ren and Ren absolutely hated it.

"Yes," Ren answered indifferently. He sighed and turned back to his desk "If you've come to scold me-"

"The Jedi was on Kanu, was she not?" Ren turned back to Malek and stared at him, trying to look as natural and indifferent as possible.

"Yes, and she managed to evade me. What of it?"

Malek pointed a gloved finger to Ren's face "That scar. She did that to you, correct?" Ren nodded and awaited an explanation to these seemingly unrelated questions.

The room was silent. The two men stared at each other, Ren struggled to keep a straight face. The masked man didn't intimidate him, but he was uncertain of his true intentions and his abilities. In any moment he could slice Ren's neck open, report to Snoke, have the truth beaten out of him, the list went on. Ren didn't know exactly what kind of authority this man had, but Ren had a bad feeling about him. If Malek was higher in rank, anything could happen to him. If Malek was superior in combat, Ren could be dead at any time.

Malek nodded and strode out the room without another word. The doors slid close behind him and Ren was once again alone. Sighing, he lifted the barrier in his head and he breathed in Rey's calmness. She was most likely asleep. After all, they had a long and emotionally tiring day.

It was unfortunate that Ren was cursed with more thoughts of her.

* * *

It has only been a short time since Malek been assigned to watch the presumably shifting Kylo Ren and he can can already read the younger man like an open book. He definitely wore his heart on his sleeves, which made Malek wonder what his purpose was exactly. If Snoke knew something was changing within the knight, why doesn't he finish off Kylo Ren himself?

He was ordered back to Snoke's chamber to report his observations. "Was Kylo Ren at all acting suspicious on Kanu?" Snoke's raspy voice echoed in the ridiculously vast chamber. Malek considered his options.

On one hand, he could oust Kylo Ren and be done with this job. He'll most definitely be paid well and he could be placed back on standby. Or even retire. Kylo Ren will probably be executed and that would be that. The arrogant bastard would be gone.

On the other hand, Kylo Ren proved to be amusing. He was a lovestruck fool and Malek developed the desire to humiliate and drag Kylo Ren down. Maybe he could draw out this drama and insert himself into Kylo Ren's life further. Ah yes, he enjoyed this power he held over a person's life. Especially if the particular person was so very interesting. The fearsome master knight Kylo Ren, hopelessly in love with one of the last jedi.

Malek shook his masked head. "No sir. I observed him personally. The Jedi managed to elude him like a coward throughout the battle. He did slay much of the Resistance may I add," He didn't lie entirely. Kylo Ren did end with a whopping 34 kills in the short time he was hunting the Jedi.

Humming in approval, Snoke gestured to Malek. "Very well. Continue with your duties, agent," Malek bowed respectfully and marched out the spacious chamber.

Before the events of Kanu, Malek would not have bothered to keep this game up. He would have turned in Kylo Ren's odd behavior and be done with the moody man. But seeing the romance blossoming from the battlefield, Malek was set on ruining the dark knight out of sheer entertainment.

He was going to learn more about this Jedi. Who she was, where she came from, was she born Resistance, what was her relationship with Kylo Ren, the list went on.

Malek chuckled under his mask. This was the most entertaining assignment he's ever had. Retirement couldn't possibly top this.

* * *

"-and Poe swooped in and wiped everyone out! He really pulled our asses out of the fire," Finn was animatedly retelling the first mission he and Poe both worked in. Rey plastered on her best smile for she was genuinely happy for Finn, but everything on her mind was weighing her down. With Ren's confession, her own feelings, Poe avoiding her, the stares she's gotten, and with her dark outburst yesterday, she was an emotional wreck.

"Where's Poe?" Rey asked. This was the second day he hadn't shown up to breakfast and he probably wasn't going to show up for dinner either.

"I heard she wandered off with him!" Rey picked up a barely audible conversation walking by. The two women must not have realized that Rey could most definitely hear them by the way they huddled as they walked.

"No way! What do you think they were doing?" Rey's stomach dropped and her cheeks flared. She stopped listening and looked down at her oatmeal, waiting for Finn's reply.

Finn shrugged and took a bite of the oatmeal in front of him. "Maybe he's sleeping in. He does that after missions," Rey nodded in response and poked at her own oatmeal. She needed to meditate this away. "Hey Finn, want the rest?" she asked.

"Rey you barely had any. You sure?" Finn's worried expression almost made Rey crack.

Nodding, Rey stood and gathered her things. "Yeah, go ahead. I'll meet you for dinner tonight, okay?" Without waiting from a confirmation from Finn, she started toward her quarters.

"She was acting suspicious on Kanu…"

"Are the rumors true? Is she seeing him?"

"I knew something was up with her."

All of the whispers and lowered conversations were getting to Rey. She knew not all of them were about her, but the whispers in general were bothering her. She stared mostly at the ground as she passed several soldiers and other personnel.

"Jedi," Rey looked up to meet the eye of Colonel Wiker. To her surprise, he smiled pleasantly and nodded at her then continued on his route. "What was that about?" muttered Rey. It was definitely odd behavior seeing that the Colonel looked like he was going to rip Rey's throat out just two days ago.

Shrugging it off, Rey finally reached her quarters and got into meditation position. Taking several slow, deep breaths, she cleared her mind to try and lull into meditation. However, her thoughts had other plans. Her mind just had to think about Kylo Ren's arms around her. Blushing madly, she gave her face a couple of slaps to try and knock some sense into her. His soothing voice played over and over again in her head. ' _I care about you,'_ He actually cared about her.

Her mind shifted to the time she was worried about him the first time he disappeared. She was scared that something happened to him. He made her feel a little less alone. She felt safe when he held her in his arms and felt even loved when he held her hands. She didn't want him to get captured on Kanu and let him get away. She helped him uphold the mental barrier every once and a while so he wouldn't get caught. She hesitantly admitted that she cared about him too. "I am going mad," she chuckled to herself.

* * *

Ren woke up in the morning surprisingly in a good mood. Sure he didn't get too much sleep last night, but it didn't matter too much to him. In the few hours he did manage sleep, he dreamt of Rey. Nothing in particular happened in the dream, but just being able to see her physically made him content. Now he sat at his desk consuming a flavorless paste and reflected on the day before.

He told her his feelings and it didn't seem as though she completely rejected him, seeing as he's not rotting in some Resistance cell. Maybe she felt the same. He prayed she felt the same. Maybe they could make this- whatever they were- work.

"Someone's in a good mood today, hmm?" Malek's tone was almost mocking. Ren groaned and looked up at Malek. "Don't you know how to knock?" he sighed. And for the first time, Ren heard Malek chuckle.

"Forgive me, Kylo Ren, but I would be careful with what you would say to me if I were you," he smugly replied. Ren gave him a suspecting look, "And why is that?" he took a bite of the paste and swallowed.

Malek placed an envelope on Ren's desk. He kept his hand over it to prevent Ren from grabbing it right away. He needed to play with his prey first. "I'm very good at my job, Kylo Ren. Do you know what my job is?"

Ren's heart dropped at the sight of the envelope. ' _No. It couldn't be…'_ the barrier was up thankfully. Rey had enough to worry about. Glancing from Malek to the mocking white envelope, Ren gulped "And what may that be?" he put his brave face on.

"Information. I am an agent of the First Order, after all. Graduated top of my class at the imperial academy before you were even born boy," Ren stood and got in Malek's face- well mask, refraining himself from ripping the mask off of Malek's smug face. "Don't you dare touch her," he growled. Malek scoffed and waved it off. "Don't worry, I don't want your precious Jedi," ' _yet_ ' Malek thought. Ren took a breath of relief "Then what do you want?"

"I'm glad you asked Kylo Ren," his tone perked up. He removed his hand from the envelope and gestured toward it. Ren eagerly picked it up and shuffled through its contents. Inside the envelope contained several photos of Rey and Ren embracing on Kanu, Ren holding Rey's face in his hands, and him holding Rey's hands. "I told Supreme Leader Snoke that you're doing what you were supposed to be doing. I covered for you, do not worry. However, I would like to collect a favor from you in the future," he finished. Malek made it sound as if Ren had a choice. He sighed and nodded in defeat "Fine,"

Malek nodded and left the room without another word. "Well aren't I in deep shit now…" he rubbed his temples and retreated to find Rey. Hopefully she was awake. Hopefully she wasn't going to kill him.

' _Rey, are you awake?'_ Rey perked up and established her presence. Her nerves were nipping at her and Ren seemed to notice. ' _Wait, are you well?'_ his worried tone made Rey's lips upturn. He really did care. ' _Yes I'm fine. Listen I need to tell you somethi-'_

' _This is an emergency. I'm sorry. You're in danger Rey,'_ the statement made Rey scoff. ' _And when am I not?'_

' _Rey this isn't a joke!"_ Ren growled in frustration _. 'The man that's been following me for weeks is a First Order agent,'_ Rey felt every ounce of his anxieties. This agent must be a big deal if he made Kylo Ren panic. ' _Why is he so special?'_ Rey's mental tone became more serious this time.

' _During the time of the Galactic Empire, agents were trained from a young age. They proved invaluable and although the Empire is no more,'_ Rey could have sworn his voice withheld a twinge of disappointment. Rey knew Ren admired the Galactic Empire his grandfather was a part of, but with the awfully bloody history lessons Ren gave Rey on the Empire, Rey believed there was no one in the galaxy who would be sane enough to miss the vile Empire. ' _The First Order still uses agents, but they are trained and conditioned from birth. They're literal weapons Rey. They're smart, fast, powerful, and deceitful. They're hard to trust because they are so full of mystery. I never liked them and now one is following me around. He knows what happened on Kanu. He has proof. He could have turned me in and had me executed, but he seemed to be some sort of sadist and covered me. I'm worried that he'll do something to you Rey. Just be careful,'_

' _So what you're saying is that we're part of his bloody game?'_ Rey sighed and leaned back against the metal wall ' _It would appear so,'_

Great.

Realization hit Rey. She still hadn't told him yet. Maybe telling him that she cared for him as well would make him feel a little better. Or maybe it was the wrong time? "Just do it Rey, get it over with…" She whispered, balling her hands into fists.

' _Just be careful on your end as well okay? Promise me you won't be stupid,'_ Rey ended up saying. She sighed. She couldn't understand why feelings had to be so difficult.

' _It almost sounded like you actually care about my safety,'_ Ren responded playfully. Ren felt the embarrassment bubble up within her. ' _What if I do?'_ Ren's heart stopped for a moment.

There was a moment of silence and emotions were tangled. Ren didn't exactly know how to react to this news. Elation was an understatement, but he didn't konw how to express it. He thought his next words carefully. _'I don't know if this is too soon, but can we meet again Rey? I feel like this is something we should talk about face to face,"_

"Am I observing the master of the Knights of Ren or a teenage girl?" Malek rolled his eyes and shook his head. The bugs he planted in Kylo Ren's room gave Malek a full visual of Ren's dream-like smile. "Teenage girl," he concluded.

* * *

 **So yeah Malek's one of the two people who knows what happened on Kanu, Rey's getting nervous around all the gossip on the base, and Kylo is a teenage girl.**

 **What's Poe doing? Who's the other person that knows what happened on Kanu? What does Malek even want? Why can't the old bastard just retire already?**

 **Yeah so my birthday is actually tomorrow so I'm gonna be busy! Thank you for reading! I love you guys! Have a wonderful day!**


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